The Two Questions We Need to Answer If We Want to Lift Our Leadership Development Game

I have been thinking about this for a long time now. In fact, I even started writing this blog 3 years ago!

“How can we dynamically improve the way we develop leaders?  What do we need to do in order to make this happen?”   

And by “we” I mean myself and those of us who are involved in leadership development activities – whether it be running leadership programmes, designing leadership programmes, or coaching at the executive/team level.  “We” also includes leaders themselves who are vested in developing other leaders.

Have we been getting it wrong all along?

For many reasons, the way we have been developing leaders is very challenged.  There are numerous reports out there about how the dollars spent in organisations are generally not returning any significant investment. But a few things are clear…

1. Organisations are facing tremendous challenges and are struggling to engage their people – let alone develop them.  
2. Dysfunctional rituals of management abound, and the evidence of bad leadership fills our news feeds daily.  These challenges are currently accentuated during pandemic times. 

During the past five or so years, I’ve been doing some soul searching on this matter – given I’ve been involved in running leadership development programmes for many years now. I’ve been reading research, newly released books, listening to the opinions of many, following the feeds of solid leaders, engaging respected thinkers in conversation and “playing” with a few different approaches, mental models and tools – particularly as I go about my own work in the leadership space.  The silver lining from COVID times, is that it afforded me some time and space to have a semi-sabbatical (while not traveling around everywhere).  

Are we practising what we are preaching?

I was having one of these moments the other day during the wrap-up of my peer learning group (of team coaches).  Our last few sessions had been uncomfortable ones, as they became messy and deeply human while we applied our team coaching approaches and learnings to our own learning as a “team”.  

What had got us to this place were a few interactions in prior learning group sessions that really impacted a few members.  One member had come in an emotionally shaky state given some events that had impacted them prior to our session (understandably).  When sharing our “check-in”, this member shared a little of all of this.  While some members remained silent, two members with wonderful intentions and perhaps lacking in sensitivity, hopped into some advice giving.  This didn’t go down well and the emotionally shaky member suddenly exited the Zoom meeting leaving everyone stunned and concerned.   Emotions were everywhere, some more present than others. Other emotions emerged over time after the meeting.  Quiet concern for the welfare of the whole learning group silently lay in the air though not articulated.  

In many ways, these sorts of things happen in meetings all the time, though not always exactly like this.  Interactions can be blunt in workplaces, and/or everyone can be overly nice by patching things with “no-one meant harm”, “he’ll be okay”, “next time we won’t say anything but just smile caringly”, for example.  And then the next meeting is as if nothing has happened – though everyone is perhaps a little more guarded.  

Holding to our team coaching principles, our learning group spent two sessions unpacking what had happened, hearing everyone’s experience during the upset, listening to members share how certain actions by others found resonance in past experiences, reflecting on what may have held a member back from acting appropriately in the middle of the events, while searching for better ways to robustly and empathically support each other, collectively learn and identify what we, as a group, needed to do better today. 

Yes, coaches need to look in the mirror and address these issues too! 

And yes, coaches are deeply human too.  

Our group has grown stronger because of this, but it took significant effort and discomfort.  

Subsequently, we were discussing how important it was that we did this hard work.  Within a few minutes, we were quickly engaged in a robust conversation about all this as we all reflected on our various leadership and team coaching experiences.  (More on those reflections later…)

I was reminded of a session five years back that Duke Corporate Education hosted with its Founder, Blair Sheppard.  The topic of the evening was “Leadership in a VUCA World” and I remember the conversation ending up being quite feisty as everyone chipped in with their views.  At one stage, it became a deeply intellectual discussion.  I’m left imagining what the conversation would have been in today’s context, but that’s not for this blog.  

Leadership in its own right

When I started my pre-coaching career, we didn’t talk about leadership.  We didn’t talk about innovation either.  Now our physical and digital bookshelves are full of books about these topics.  

Without going into a literature review about the topic of leadership and how it has evolved to now, what became clear in that discussion at Duke Corporate Education was the sense that many are still trying to develop leaders using the results of research and methods, which by definition are based on historical data and experience. While I am a great proponent of robust research, leadership development programs do seem very reliant on older research and leadership models that may not be working as well these days.  What does seem to be clear is that leaders are having to go places in their leadership journey where they have never gone before, and each context is new and unique.  

These leaders are using models that are from yesteryear while operating with less certainty and predictably.  

Sophisticated leadership capabilities are needed to cope with less reliable information/knowledge (Bleak & O’Driscoll, 2013), the paradoxes facing leaders (Sheppard, 2013), and leading organisations while having to manage for today’s business while creating the future (Anthony et al, 2017).  These leaders need to navigate the megatrends facing society and businesses (Hill-Landolt, 2018) and the serious technological and digital disruptions (Jenkins, 2021).  

And yet…

…much is still the same. 

Leaders still need to work with people, engage people, inspire people, be intentional and understand the business fundamentals along with its operating context.    

Back to leadership basics

As I reflect on my own experiences in many coaching sessions I’ve held over the decades, I have been finding that the focus of development, often, gravitates to “the basics” i.e. listening, connecting, describing, clarity of intentionality, giving and receiving perspectives, being curious and asking good questions, to name but a few. 

It is as if the lack of strength in these basics are letting leaders down.  They strive for the more sophisticated leadership capabilities they feel they need – given the ever changing and complex environments they are operating in.  But they are being let down by leadership basics!

This would be analogous to an elite athlete being let down by not having been to the gym to build core muscular strength – how could they expect to run a race if they haven’t considered the foundational training?!   

And more than often, these leaders have been to leadership development programs where these basics or core skills have been addressed, but then considered “done”, tick! But we all know that athletes consistently return to the gym and work on their core strength – and if they don’t, deterioration happens quite quickly.  I suspect leaders do not exercise these basics diligently (nor do they know how to), as these issues constantly come up in coaching sessions, more often with more senior leaders – sadly.  

The deeply human side of leadership

Taking this further, we move into very deeply human issues – the “inner game” (versus “the outer game”) as some may refer to this – though what is bundled into the “inner game” varies from researcher to author to practitioner.  In this bucket would be issues around values, culture, generational influences, grief, hurt, fears, habitual actions and reactions, preferences and aspirations (while not claiming this to be a complete list).  All of these issues impact how we are at work, how we interact with others and how we see the world around us and respond to it.  

Behind all this is our reptilian brain which needs to be safe (i.e. survival) and limbic system (i.e. emotions; looking for connection).  These both need to be satisfied before we can operate in our neocortex (and be open to change and logic).  Understanding this is fundamental to good leadership.   Exercising the leadership basics help significantly here.    

As detailed in his book, Michael Jenkins (2021) would add that in the face of significant disruptions facing the world and organisations, that more human workplaces (and leaders) are needed more than ever.  He proposes a more human and effective way of living, working and being – namely by adopting deeper capabilities in the areas of altruism, compassion and empathy.  On all these points, I wholeheartedly concur.

The impact of leadership happens between people

And the last point I’d like to raise is that traditional leadership programmes take leaders away from their workplace relationships and their intact team(s).  It is easy to work on one’s leadership in isolation, but when back in amongst the work relationships, things can get messy quickly.  The shiny strategies and high pumped atmosphere of a conference or an offsite can often differ greatly from the reality of the everyday workplace (particularly over the past 18 months).

We have seen the emergence of team coaching (not hub-and-spoke team facilitation nor team building), which takes a more systemic approach to a team, the interconnectedness of its members and the systems the team exists within.   These systems also are complex and adaptive.   The days of the coach working with a leader on an isolated problem are long gone.  We now need to help them understand the context and systems they exist within.   

And this brings me back to where my musing was recently triggered again.  

Today’s question at hand

At the end of yet another uncomfortable and yet rich peer team-coaching learning group session, we all reflected that we believe we have to do this hard work together so we can in turn help the teams and leaders we support.  There’s really no getting away from this fundamental point.

As we were all re-examining our role, as well as the capacity we need to conduct it effectively, I was reminded again of a question I asked Blair Sheppard at the end of the Duke Corporate Education discussion five years ago.  I had to dig out my old diary to find my notes.

I asked – “Given the need to help leaders today, what does this demand of us, the developers and coaches of these leaders?”   Blair acknowledged that this was an important question on which he had pondered.  And after a moment, he answered with the following thoughts:

“Those that develop leaders today need:

1. An intellectual curiosity
2. To model what we are asking of today’s leaders
3. A broader repertory of methods 
4. An understanding of “Why am I here” and be true to it
5.  A moral compass 
6. A sense of deep care with the people we work with.”

While this was five years ago, the question still is very relevant. Personally, I have some perspectives around what he said and will elaborate further in a future post.  Meanwhile, I would be very curious to know what you, the reader, think is important here in this discussion – today?  

There are some great initiatives happening in the realm of leadership development.  IMD have some very sophisticated and yet grounded approaches, as do some colleagues of mine who conduct leadership journeys (literal walking journeys in nature over multiple days for intact teams).  

However, if we, as leadership developers, coaches, team coaches or even leaders vested in developing other leaders, are serious about what we do, it begs that we examine two important questions carefully:

1. How can we dramatically improve the way we develop the leaders (and their teams) we need for today and tomorrow?

And…

1. What is required of us in the process, and how do we need to grow and develop in order to ensure we bring the qualities needed to best support and serve these leaders (and their teams) in their growth?  

Let’s talk about this.  I would love to hear your thoughts, questions, musings and comments.  

References:

Bleak, J. and O’Driscoll, T. (2013), “CEO perspectives on the changing leadership context”, Dialogue, Duke Corporate Education, Sept/Nov 2013.

Hill-Landolt, J. (2018), “Societal megatrends and business: Operating, innovating, and growing in a turbulent world”, World Business Council for Sustainable Development (WBCSD), 9 April 2018.

Jenkins, M. (2021), “Expert Humans: Critical Leadership Skills For A Disrupted World”, Emerald Publishing, London.

Ramanathan, R. (2020), “Beyond Systemic Thinking in Coaching and Team Coaching”, Coacharya, 26th August, 2020.

Shepherd, B. (2018), “Six Paradoxes of Leadership”, LinkedIn, published January 12, 2018.    

How are we doing (really)?

I think it’s fairly safe to say that when 2021 rolled around most of us were happy to see the end of 2020 for so many reasons and we had such hopes and wishes for what 2021 could bring. 

It’s now September.  

So, where do we sit with those positive thoughts of ‘getting back to normal’ – ‘normal’ a word I have constantly struggled with?

Either way, some of those early adjustments we made to our personal and work lives, that we had assumed would be temporary, are now firmly part of our new everyday lives. And even if some workplaces and social activities have resumed in some places, we are by no means fully where we were pre-pandemic (and dare I say it, we might never be – the good and the bad reside together here in my opinion, but that’s probably another post).

We are now au fait with Zoom meetings, and in some countries, kids have completed a whole academic year without stepping inside an educational facility and many of us carry masks around along with our keys and phones as another necessity while some of us are still not allowed out of our front door without wearing a mask.  In some ways it is surreal.  I see on my Instagram feed photos of summer holidays, while I hear stories of heartache and grief from many of my clients in South East Asia.  

But where are we really? How are we actually feeling? Where is this all landing for us 18 months into the pandemic?

I’ve spoken in previous articles about the impact of Zoom fatigue and the very real physical and emotional downsides of so many online meetings, and now there is even a ZEF (Zoom Exhaustion and Fatigue) scale being developed by Stanford researchers to help companies understand which type of communication technology actually benefits everyone.

As one of the researchers Professor Jeremy Bailenson reminded:

“Videoconferencing is a good thing for remote communication, but just think about the medium – just because you can use video doesn’t mean you have to.”

Even the head of Zoom APAC, Michael Chetner, has recently said that he hopes that the success of the next 12 months will be “….characterised by businesses learning how to create equality between employees in the office and those at home.”

“When in the office … it’s not just about the collaboration, but having the social aspect we’ve missed. Businesses will need to say to the [marketing] team come in on Wednesdays and they all get to go to lunch together. That makes it a richer experience people will look forward to.”

The social impact

The social impact of physically not being in work places, recreation spots, other people’s company for a year or more is also having a mixed bag of responses as certain places around the world are opening up.

A study of mental health service employees in the UK highlights the emerging issues of prolonged physical distancing…

“… where closer contact with others may be desired or beneficial (e.g. in order to show empathy), the ability to engage in this may be restricted by safety measures such as social distancing and the use of face masks.”

(Wong et al 2013).

Results of a similar workplace study in Australia suggest that the impact of being cut off from our usual work routine (even with every possible workaround in place) is still being felt…

“We are seeing that those who relied on their workplace for social stimulation are more affected by these changes.”

(Relationships Australia)

Is it all doom and gloom?

Well, no.  There are emerging studies that are showing despite the adversity experienced by global populations that there are in fact some positives to be taken from it all, namely in our ability for resilience. This is particularly heartening to see when we look at the impact on young people and how their early stress experiences shape them later in life…

“Although adversity in early life has clear negative impacts, it is possible that adversity experiences may also provide opportunities to develop adaptive strategies that foster resilience and growth when facing stress.”

(Bleil et ta. (2021))

While I have not completed an extensive literature review, I think it would be fair to say that there is the potential for both negatives and positives – and – at the end of the day, how we respond to adversity and change is in our own hands.  How we support those around us is also in our hands.  It’s our choice.  

We could also choose to rewrite ‘normal‘ and wouldn’t that be amazing!

Katarina Berg, CHRO of Spotify, captures the important essence and challenge of this.  When she shared at People Matter’s TechHRSG conference (Sept ‘20) she spoke about the preciousness of human connection, experience (and for her example around listening to live music) and the feeling of NOW.  How can we, in the future, create the best – exclusive inclusiveness – experiences when we are in a single space/room together, and with the best technologies we are getting smarter about using when we are not – whether we are working, schooling, at home or being entertained?

And more importantly, what choices do we make for ourselves, our families and friends and our communities?  

At this point, can I offer some books that might be very relevant at this time?  In addition to the work of Viktor Frankel, these books are worth chasing down:

Eger, E. (2017), “The Choice: Embrace the Possible”, Scribner, New York.

Jaku, E. (2020), “The Happiest Man on Earth”, Pan MacMillan, Sydney. 

MacKay, H. (2021), “The Kindness Revolution: How we can restore hope, rebuild trust and inspire optimism”, Allen & Unwin, Sydney. 

I’d love to hear from you.  I’d love to hear about what you would like ‘normal’ to be in the future, as well as your thoughts about these books (note: two authors are Holocaust survivors).  

As a head’s up, I’ll be releasing my virtual library in the near future so please watch this space.  

Take care, everyone, and be kind to each other.   

References:

Bleil, M., Appelhans, B., Thomas, A., Gregorich, S., Marquez, N., Roisman, G., Booth‑LaForce, C. and Crowder, K. (2021), ”Early life predictors of positive change during the coronavirus disease pandemic”, BMC Psychology, 9, 83.

Wong, C.K., Yip, B.H., Mercer, S. et al. (2013). “Effect of facemasks on empathy and relational continuity: A randomised controlled trial in primary care”, BMC Family Practice, 14, 200.

Media Release from Relationships Australia, “Have the COVID-19 workplace changes affected people’s mental health?”

 Ramachandran, V. (2021), “Stanford researchers identify four causes for ‘Zoom fatigue’ and their simple fixes”, Stanford News, February 2021.

Redrup, Y (2021), “Zoom usage to enter new phase in 2021”, Australia Financial Review, January 2021.

The (Critical) Need for a Sense of Progress

Does it feel like you’re treading water? Head bobbing under every so often, then you come up and seem fine again..for a while?

Adam Grant has used the term “languishing” recently (which is neither flourishing or depressed).  “It feels like Groundhog Day” is a phrase I find myself saying regularly.

And I’m sure I’m not alone in this.

I find myself losing track of time.  It seems to be going quickly and slowly all at once.

And as I reflect, I find it hard to determine when certain things occurred.  

I don’t have the normal landmarks to help sort this out like I used to –  ‘it was before that trip but after that other event’ was my usual barometer for time, pre-pandemic.

So, in an attempt to give myself some sort of rhythm during these pandemic times (because, we ARE still in a pandemic), I’ve set up routines to help myself in my reduced world in which I now live and operate.  I do well with some routines but others need closer attention sometimes.  The waves of various mixtures of emotions come and go, and I have to admit that there are times I know I need to heighten self-care.  I’m learning how to recognise the signs.  

Making progress

One of my routines has been a regular catch up call with a dear friend on Friday afternoons.  It’s a regular feature in my diary and basically, we have no agenda.  We just talk and cover a myriad of topics from the trivial to sort out the world (in our humble opinions), from the personal to the academic.  From the mundane, to the issues of substance.  These conversations I have found even more vital when usual socialising is limited or completely off limits.

In our last conversation, I found myself agreeing with her around a declaration she made.  “I feel like I’ve found “my power”; I know now in what area I can offer my best for others and I’m very comfortable with it” – she exclaimed.  It has been a journey for my friend, and indeed was something I had noticed about her and I could hear her sense of groundedness in what she had shared.  

I found myself sharing in a similar vein around an issue on which I feel I’ve made progress.  And I too had felt it and owned it.  My friend also affirmed my progress this year.  

It felt good … I noticed. 

When the destination never appears

While reflecting on this conversation, my mind went back to a time when I was trekking in Nepal – a stunning beautiful country with wonderful people.  On this particular trip, I was in a group led by a foreigner and supported by extraordinary local guides.  One afternoon, I found myself really struggling.  I was having to get over a very precarious rail-less, narrow “bridge” and I lost-the-plot.  I was actually incredibly exhausted.  My guides helped and I don’t know how they did it, but they got me over it.  But at this point, I really wanted to know how far we had to go until we got to the planned destination.  

I needed to know this, so I could put some strategies together, pace myself and work out if I needed to eat as well.  It was becoming apparent that the afternoon trek was becoming way longer than I had expected and that I had not had enough to eat at lunch to support this part of the trek.  

The long and short of it was – the leader of the trek had not briefed us well enough so we could plan re food, pace and rest.  And yes, I had made assumptions based on previous days.  

I was kept being told that it was ‘just over that hill top’ or ‘just around that corner’, but each time we got to those points, the destination was still out of sight and around yet another bend.  

Going through this pandemic feels a bit similar in some ways.  Just when you think you see a glimpse of the future and its possibilities, numbers rise, lockdowns happen and borders close tighter.  

Sigh.

A Secret Key to Motivation

We have known for a while that the recognition of good work is one of the top factors that influences motivation at work.  Amabile and Kramer (2011) researched this further and discovered what they called the “progress principle”.  They had examined 12,000 diary entries kept by knowledge workers over a few years, and realised “Of all things that can boost emotions, motivation, and perceptions during a workday, the single most important is making progress in meaningful work.  And the more frequently people experience that sense of progress, the more likely they are to be creatively productive in the long run.”  

Of all the things that can boost inner work life, the most important is making progress in meaningful work. 

This would be true for projects, hobbies or various activities in life too.  So, no matter what you are working on, everyday progress – even a small win – can make all the difference in how you feel and keep you motivated to keep going.  

It was true for that trek in Nepal.  I had to keep looking back and then forward to gauge my progress.  I would tell myself, I’ve made it around this last bit, so I can make it around the next bit.  Small wins.  

James Fox (2014) picks up this theme in his book “The Game Changer” noting that this is a key feature of games (including computer games).  He suggests it should be a key feature of all work.  

It is very surprising to me that leaders and managers aren’t taught about this as they struggle to engage and motivate their staff – but more about this in another blog.  

So, given the pandemic time in which we live, and our varying sense of time (or not), I realise that it was this sense of progress that delighted me in my conversation with my friend.  I have also realised that there are ways in which we can be more deliberate about monitoring and noticing the progress we are making on various fronts.  So, I offer some tips around this and hope that others will contribute to this list.  

Tips

1. Journaling

Journaling is wonderful for many reasons.  It helps us clear our minds, it’s an outlet for creativity, “thinking” and expression, and is a way of keeping ourselves honest and perhaps venturing into new places of self discovery.  It is a place where no judgment exists (unless you hedge yourself), and it is a way to get our thoughts organised.  It brings us to the “now” plus much more.  And importantly, it is a place where you can see progress you are making in areas that are important to you.  Looking back over your entries can provide much needed evidence around this progress and this is often much-needed encouragement. 

2. Regular conversations with dear friends and family

As I started this article, it was in a conversation with a dear friend when I realised the progress I’d made in a certain area.  Since coming to Singapore, I’ve had a year end call with another dear friend in Australia where we specifically review the year that was, and speak about our aspirations for the next.  It is amazing the patterns and progress that get identified in those special calls.  And while it is good to keep in touch – regularly – with selected dear ones especially at this time, space does need to be given to review, reflect and provide feedback around what is noticed in one another especially around progress made (in areas that will be shared and noted as important for the other, given your relationship).  

3. Some Visual Representation

This is something I am playing with as I realise also that I’m losing track of time and how things have happened as they do around significant events (birthdays, trips etc.).  So I’m creating a space on the wall in my home office where I can create a timeline and progress representation of some form.  It’s a way of visually marking progress made in various areas that matter to me (projects, capability, learning etc.).

4. Be clear what your goal is and reframe, if necessary

We have become very goal oriented and often our resolutions fall in around specific goals that focus on a target.  Job-related KPIs do this all the time.  To examine this, let’s talk about fitness as an example.  Normally, we set ourselves goals – like – I would like to run in this particular race next year.  That becomes the goal (and this does work for some).  However, is that really the goal or is the goal to have fitness that makes you feel better and more energised?  And from this, in what ways can you nudge your habits to help you become more fit?  And then how can you monitor your progress?  A few years back, I signed up for a core strengthening class because I knew that was my way.  One day, when running a workshop, I realised I was less tired at the end of the week after being on my feet all the time.  This was an important milestone.  

5. Remember, that learning is progress

And I’m not talking about doing courses here – though that also can be important.   For all of us, there has been much learning in these COVID times.  What are you noticing?  Are your conversations with people changing, and if so, what are you learning?  Look for progress in non-obvious places and you never know, it may surprise you.  We are always learning something.  Find those “somethings”!

6. Pick up a new hobby and learn something new

Create a new opportunity for learning and progress-making, if necessary.  Daniel Pink, in his RSA video “The surprising truth about what motivates us” talks about “mastery” being one of the critical factors along with “purpose” and “autonomy”.  Find something to master whether it be some critical work-related capability, or something around a new hobby – like writing, photography, cooking, gardening, painting or whatever takes your fancy.  Yet another dear friend of mine recently commented that my iPhone photography had improved over the years we have been walking together.   Another small win.  

7. Set up accountabilities and support

I really wanted to develop myself around writing and for this year, writing blogs.  So I have this wonderful support, who has diligently encouraged, chased and enabled me to get material out.  I’ve made progress!  I’ve also signed up for a program where I enter with a bold project in mind, and the aim is to learn better ways of approaching the challenge, getting support and feedback, having accountabilities and constant nudges.  I am sure I will write about this in the future and let you know how it goes.  The important thing is to put in place the support and conditions that are right for you specifically (and it will be different for others).  

Reflection Questions

While this article has been more focused on us as individuals, equally it can be around us in the workplace, as a team member, as a team leader or company leader.  Personally, we need a sense of progress and so do the people around us and who may report to us.  So, what questions emerge for you on this topic?  In what ways could you help yourself notice the progress you have made?  What new habits may you need to put in place to help?  And in what way could you actively help those around you and those who report to you gain a richer sense of their progress, both professionally and personally (if they want to share)? 

We need all the encouragement we can get these days, and we can all help each other find motivation.  

I would love to hear everyone’s thoughts on this and see the contributing ideas around how we can monitor our progress better.

Take care everyone!

References

Ambile, T. and Kramer, S. (2011), “The Power of Small Wins, Harvard Business Review, May 2011

Ambile, T. and Kramer, S. (2011), “The Progress Principle: Using Small Wins to Ignite Joy, Engagement and Creativity at Work”, Harvard Business Review Press, 2011

Fox, J (2014), “The Game Changer: How to use the science of motivation with the power of game design to shift behaviour, shape culture and make clever happen”, Wiley, Brisbane.  

Pink, D. (2010), “The surprising truth about what motivates us”, https://youtu.be/u6XAPnuFjJc

Note to Self: We Are Still In a Pandemic

We are still in the midst of a pandemic.  And I’m not sure about you, but for me, my days, weeks and months (and time is blurring) are filled with a curious mixture of emotions.   There are times when I’ve felt strong and times when I’ve felt weak – and sometimes at the same time.  I’m thankful and frustrated, grounded and vulnerable, hopeful and numb, inspired and frustrated – just to name a few. 

The other day, I was participating in a peer supervision session.  I was in a safe place with good people.  We started by checking in with each other – a very valuable process.  Two of the group were in Australia experiencing recent lockdowns in Sydney, one was in Canada where vaccination rate is high and where he was out on location with clients and doing workshops in person, and I’m in Singapore – where we have been living with various restrictions since March last year and where vaccination rates are climbing very quickly and where all my work is currently virtual, operating from my home office and speaking to people across Asia and Europe.  

And I found myself noticing my reactions to our collective check in.  Rumbling in the background in my head were divergent and different storylines:

“I hear people whinge about having to wear a mask for a few weeks, while others I know are fearful for their families welfare.  I know people desperate to get back to their home country (yes, including Australia), while I also know people who flip in and out when they feel like having a holiday!  I could go on but most importantly,  I’m finding I’m reacting.  I’m tired and much of this is now poking my sensibilities and values!”  

The thought of flying as well as walking into an in-person workshop had me do a shiver.  I have mixed feelings about it.  On one hand I miss it, but on the other hand I noted my discomfort. 

It reminded me of an article co-written by Amy Edmondson (2021) on psychological safety in the emerging hybrid working world and how everyone’s sense of safety and preferences differ as well the social awkwardness of it all.

I know there is a need for heightened empathy these days, and in my work I’m so aware of doing the hard work prior to work sessions to ensure I’m prepared.  But when I’m not being vigilant, I’m finding that in some situations empathy is getting hard to do.  Empathy is hard because we are tired and exhausted (and in ways we ourselves may not truly understand). 

As our peer supervision conversation continued after I shared my feelings and thoughts, one of the group responded beautifully.   

“You have raised something I have been wondering about and am curious about.  I’m not hearing much of what you are sharing.  When I ask the questions – how are you? And how is this latest situation affecting you? there is a general sense of business as usual.  I don’t believe it and it feels like there is denial here.  Robyn, your genuine felt experience seems more real than what many are prepared to say.“

 Then another in our group made this observation. 

“Given we are here because we are interested in team coaching, it makes me think about teams … I wonder what is happening in teams?  If you bring all this into a team environment, what’s going on?  How would it be handled?“

So, what is happening with you?  What might be happening for others around you?  What might be happening in your team?  

At the end of the day, we can only control what we can personally control for ourselves.  We cannot control how others feel or what they do.  So, I have penned a list of the more simple things we can do and remind ourselves about.  Remember, oxygen to self before oxygen to others. 

9 grounding reminders and activities

These are my thoughts today, and I would really love to hear what others suggest too 🙂

1. It’s not a comparative game

Note to self: I know I find myself thinking “I cannot complain because there are people suffering worse than me”.  While, to a degree, that is true, it is important that everyone’s emotions are acknowledged and without judgment. 

 2. It’s okay to be human

Another note to self: It’s okay to feel and think about all this – or not.  Not everyone is the same, and different situations bring different responses out of us.  I’m sure frustrations abound and conversations are clumsy and that is okay.  We are not perfect nor need to be saints. 

3. People are losing different things and grief is lurking

Remember, what people are losing during this pandemic is different for everyone.  Whether it be dreams or people we care for.  Whether it be for a lifestyle we enjoyed, a job, separation from family, missing significant life events with family and friends, an office environment that made us feel like we were contributing, missing those rare quiet moments because you are also homeschooling children or similarly dining out.  No matter the size of the loss, no matter how we deal with the associated grief or not, everyone is different.  Given how long this pandemic has been going on for, this issue can pop up at unexpected times.  And let’s not assume we know what it is for others.  Let’s make it safe for them to share and have their experience acknowledged (remember point one).

4. Be there for each other whether in sunshine or rain

… and we do not have to talk all the time.   Be there.  Be available.  Be a good listener.    Remember, sun showers?   It can rain and be sunny at the same time for someone. 

5. Take a social media break

Find ways to message directly with people.  Use the telephone (and not video platforms).  Avoid social media and “seeing” how the rest of the world is living.  You will be getting a rosy picture without their truths.  

6. Regulate your news feed

Think about how much news is necessary for you and try to avoid the on-going, 24-hour news feed. 

7. Get your feet into the soil/sand (or the equivalent)

There is something about putting your bare feet directly on the ground, in the soil or sand.  It’s the same with your hands.  Get them dirty.  There are other activities that are very grounding like reading a novel, painting/drawing a picture, jumping into a puddle, fixing something physical, walking through nature with a good friend, swimming (connecting with the water), running in the rain (only if no lightening), planting some seedlings, playing an instrument, watching a sunrise/sunset, watching birds or kids play, cooking something – or better still, cook something to share with your neighbours. 

8. Take time to contact different people in your network

We do not have to do this all the time, but be deliberate.  Identify the people you want to check in with.  A few months back, I received a text from a dear friend/colleague and it said – “Please send proof of life. ”  We hadn’t spoken for a few months, and this message brought a smile to my face.  We then exchanged video messages. What he did not know was I was struggling a bit that day.   If we do this across countries, don’t assume what you think it would be like where they are.  Freedom Day in the UK may not be that for everyone.  

9. Acts of kindness

Let’s be kind to each other.  If empathy is a bridge too far, let’s be kind.  Little thoughtful acts go a long way for both parties.  Smile at people you pass (even if wearing a mask because if you smile, your eyes do as well).  

I am very confident you all have things you are doing during this pandemic as we are both looking after ourselves as well as being there for the people around us.   Listen, be gently curious and be kind.  You never know what that may mean for someone else. 

We’ve all got this! 

Reference:

Edmondson, A. & Mortensen, M. (2021),  “What Psychological Safety Looks Like in a Hybrid Workplace”, Harvard Business Review, April 19th 2021.

5 ways to rethink your communication in difficult conversations

Difficult conversations happen in the workplace everyday – whether that workplace is virtual or back to the physical space.

And ‘difficult’ is a very subjective word that means different things to us all.

A new graduate might find speaking with their line manager to clarify a task as a ‘difficult’ conversation, whereas the CEO might describe their conversation with the shareholders as ‘difficult’ when trying to explain a drop in growth.

Both have merit. Both are difficult in the minds of the conversation starter. And both have one vital component in common that can help – the need to start a conversation.

Difficult conversations don’t necessarily have to mean trouble, doom or conflict. But they do need to be approached with a certain level of maturity, compassion and preparation.

Here are 5 ways to rethink your approach to these difficult conversations in order to achieve a better outcome.

1.Don’t assume anything 

It’s so easy to put our own spin on things before we’ve even had the chance to speak to the other party. But how often are we wrong about what the other person was thinking, feeling or planning? It is always good to check what assumptions we may have made either about ourselves or the other person.  

Focus on your facts, your updates, your requests, your understanding of the reality-at-hand and let the other person come to the table with theirs (even if you’ve had similar conversations with the same person before).

Also, avoid words that assume you already know what they are thinking or what they know. For example, ‘clearly’, ‘surely’, and ‘no doubt’ might sound harmless, but they are putting a lot of assumptions on the other person that might be false.

2. Stick to the facts 

No one needs to be working with a wobbly foundation so it is best to enter a conversation being clear about the facts, the figures, the specific situations and observations around what you want to discuss and then stick to those.   

How we respond to these facts is also important. How each of you interpret these facts may be another thing, but the factual foundation is critical. Over exaggerating or minimising the truth can result in tougher situations down the line.  

And if you don’t know something? Be honest and say that! (With either an action plan to find out what is needed or a healthy dose of curiosity that will help you ask the questions needed). And know that judging the other person or providing instructions is one way to divert the real conversation away from the facts or the real issue at hand.

3. Own your own feelings and emotions

As leaders, this is an important one to get right because you have the power to set the tone for the conversation immediately, as well as the rest of the team and organisation.

If you are heading into a difficult conversation, be aware of your emotions and settle yourself beforehand. Likewise, if you have just come out of one difficult meeting or conversation, be responsible for dealing with those emotions before you start another conversation. This does not necessarily mean pushing the emotions down or away – as they will come back eventually! It does mean being honest enough with yourself and with those around you should you need a few moments to gather yourself together. The alternative? Potentially blowing up in someone else’s face and pushing your emotions onto them. None of us want to be that kind of leader.

4. Don’t say “It’s not personal”

As James R. Detert says, saying it’s not personal usually means you really know that it is absolutely personal for the other person and might be causing them distress. Instead, acknowledge the difficult situation and own it instead of passing over it.

5. Check in on your fearlessness

Not everyone is made equally. You can’t compare someone in their 35th year in the workplace with someone else’s second in terms of confidence and fearlessness.

Just because things are obvious or clear to you, does not mean they are to everyone else around you. In addition, just because certain conversations may be easier for you to conduct, does not mean they are for others. We all have differing values, fears and vulnerabilities. Assuming the other person is well intentioned, wanting to do the right thing is important. Being aware of any power dynamic present (due to status, experience, expertise, age, for example) is also important while exercising your wisdom and grace in the conversation.  

And finally, 

These important conversations are not only about ourselves, but they are about the other person as well. It is about your relationship, how you work together and it is about the shared interest in issues, challenges, opportunities and problems you both have vested interest in – albeit, in varying degrees. Something may be a big issue for one person, and not weighted equally by the other.   

While outcomes are important, we can only truly control our own mindset, emotions, choices, actions and reactions. If we think we can control the other person, we are deluded. How we approach these difficult conversations is our responsibility and our opportunity. We can potentially contribute towards better outcomes, ensure our efforts and opinions are not hidden, and ensure others feel heard and acknowledged, while also allowing others to support us through some difficulty, offer support, and last but not least, strengthen our working relationships. We all know about what happens when conversations are avoided or happen badly.  

Who shouts loudest, gets heard most. But those, who are not noticed and not heard, have the potential to derail a team’s performance and may be motivated to do so, by the fact that they don’t feel listened to.

(Prof. David Clutterbuck.)

Whether we are the one who bravely starts a difficult conversation, or the one who is the other person, let’s work for a win all around – even if it is a bit uncomfortable for a while.  

References

Detert, James R. (2021), “Words and Phrases to Avoid in a Difficult Conversation”, Harvard Business Review, June 21, 2021

Successful conversations: the benefit of gathering viewpoints early

In my previous blog we explored some of the communication challenges that happen when those crucial workplace conversations take place and how we can make the most of those meaningful exchanges of thoughts, opinions and information. In this piece, I go deeper on the timing and setting for facilitating important discussions and explore why the handling of this process is critical.

A while back, I facilitated a strategic workshop for a regional management group here in Asia. Their industry was rapidly changing, regional nuisances existed and they needed to find refreshed ways to strengthen their competitive advantage while also engaging and re-energising the group.  

Prior to the workshop, one-on-one interviews were conducted (this is a common approach to gathering feedback during my facilitation sessions). A set of questions was asked of everyone and each participant was told their comments would be treated anonymously. These questions were designed to support the process set out for the workshop day; a process designed to ensure the correct conversations were had with all involved. 

To one question (about their fears), one member of staff shared the following comment:

“I don’t sleep well at night. I worry a lot. I worry about the business, our talent, and how the office is doing. I fear when the bubble will burst – given we have been performing really well. What will happen? Pressure is on me and the team.”  

At the point in the workshop when everyone’s comments to the same question were shared, I heard someone say, “I don’t agree with this one”! And then I heard someone else say “…but if it’s here, someone in this room has said it, so it must be true …”   

This started an important conversation which birthed the sharing of additional, more honest feelings and views (around this question and other issues) and, in turn, guided some initiatives and decisions. Note also the immediate response of “I don’t agree” – to the person’s vulnerable sharing about not being able to sleep at night due to worrying about the team. Had this conversation taken place without the anonymity, imagine the lack of compassion and empathy that they might have felt!

The initiatives and discussions that came out of the whole session would not have happened if that one person in the room didn’t feel safe enough to share that viewpoint or had kept quiet as they potentially devalued their own view. The process, also, supported this initial step. And curiously, by the end of this workshop, many felt safer than before – particularly when they saw how open many were to hearing this concern (including those in management).  

For me, this reinforces the value of getting everyone’s voice into the room around certain, collectively important issues. This is the benefit of gathering everyone’s viewpoint to kickstart such conversations.  

The supporting process is important

When we consider gathering viewpoints in order to support and kickstart a conversation, it is important the process is clear and enabling. This collection process is one thing, and then the beginning of the response, is another. In my story before, the initial responses were critical in enabling the subsequent conversation. In some cases, leaders may need to step in and set the tone of the response. 

Here are 7 process guidelines for collecting viewpoints:

1. Well crafted questions that are simple, open and directed at the issue rather than at the character and identity of people provide safety around relationships. Using words like “What” to start your questions is great. “Tell me about ….” as you invite them in to share their thoughts. “How might we ….?” is another good starter to a question.
2. Provide the focus, the context. If I had asked “What are your fears?” as opposed to “What are your fears about the regional business?”, I would have got a vague and potentially unrelated answer.  
3. Encourage people to respond using sentences. The use of verbs and descriptive words help tremendously. Single word answers or very short phases are not helpful. If my participant had answered with only – My fear is that “…the bubble will burst”, we all would have been left wondering, and yet the complete statement above provides so much information and insight. I’m sure we have all been in those meetings where the problems articulated around various challenges include comments like “we need more communication”, “we need a plan” etc. Technically, these are sentences, but they lack useful insight and information.  
4. Ensure everyone contributes their initial viewpoints without hearing those of others. As soon as the first person speaks in response to questions designed to gather viewpoints, everyone thereafter will start amending their original thoughts. The dynamic of the group as well as the influence of those perceived to “know” is very real and can reduce significantly the breath and depth of viewpoints offered.
5. Solicit differing perspectives from different groups (and stakeholders). We often need to look up and out around our collective challenges. Differing perspectives can be incredibly useful. In our case above, when we looked at the comments from senior management and various supporting functions and then compared to the range within the regional group, a much fuller picture emerged. Senior management were concerned about the regional group while a supporting function did not realise how vulnerable the regional group felt. This made the whole pursuing conversation very rich, honest and even constructively vulnerable.  
6. Start with providing anonymity. Starting here is the best way to get everyone’s voice into the conversation. As people start feeling safer, they will be more prepared to add their name to their comments, but go with the group and don’t leave some more vulnerable than the confident others. Senior people should lead first by standing by their input.
7. Transparency embodies trust. So, sharing everyone’s input can be great for trust building and subsequent conversations. If it is “overly managed”, people will remain suspicious. Yes, some courage is needed by the leaders who lead these processes, and it is in their response to all input that will make or break any subsequent conversations. Where necessary, do get facilitation support to help.  

Here are some guidelines around responding to everyone’s input/viewpoints:

• Give people time to read and digest. Let them discuss it with their chosen colleagues, if necessary. People need time to make sense of new data. 
• Do not diminish, discount or magnify any viewpoints. Listen to all comments, and if anything, be curious about it.  
• Build on the context defined above and define the “bucket” or “container” for the conversation. For our example above, the regional group had a very clear objective:

“To explore how we might – together (regionally, each office) and individually – lift our performance for 20xx in a strategic, doable and sustainable way.”

• Continue to build on the context by answering these questions:

1. Who has agency together to make changes (at the table)? 
2. Who may be impacted by these changes (stakeholders whose views may matter, be helpful and/or in some cases be critical)?  
3. Where are the boundaries? These may include things like very real constraints, realities of the environment, guiding principles around strategy or even values which need to be embraced, to name a few. These are best articulated and made clear.  

• Give space for the conversation that emerges. Having a robust process will help ensure that all these inputs and subsequent conversations will serve the issue at hand.  

One of my favourite, simple processes is this: 

1. What (are our realities and what patterns are we seeing, etc.)?, 
2. So What (is important after we have made sense of everything)?, and 
3. Now What (can we do together and individually, what is doable?).

The key here is not to rush each stage. We need to resist our tendency to rush to action. The process is important and provides the spaces for important conversations.  

• Create a shared and collective space by speaking about the shared problem, shared concern, the collective need, the shared working relationships, for example. Speak using the collective and the word “we”. Ask “how might we…..?”
• Embrace the AND. We live with polarities – like how teams need to be both task and relationship focused. Don’t get trapped in the “EITHER…OR” conversation and those that result in people being polarised. Voting can do this. So explore and try and find the story that holds the “AND”. We want to find common ground and a shared future.   
• Respond with “YES, AND ….” rather than “NO, BUT ….”

Collective conversations can be very empowering for a group of people, or a team to embrace. Collecting viewpoints early is a way to get everyone’s voice into the conversation. It’s also the way we surface good ideas, insights, possibilities, problems and issues in order to have the conversations we really need to have in our workplaces. Paying attention to good processes can help this all be more effective and safe.  

As a leader hosting these larger conversations, what attributes of yours have helped you, and what might you need to strengthen? What has gone well in the past for you, and what do you worry about? I’d love to hear your thoughts around this.  

In my next blog, specific examples of a range of important conversations will be shared, ones that benefit also from the collecting of viewpoints. 

What happens when crucial workplace conversations don’t go well?

Crucial workplace conversations.  Dialogues.  Discussions.  Chit-chats.   At work, most of us will “talk” (or email/message) multiple times per day – if not endlessly in meetings.  

Some of this talking is meaningful for various reasons, and other times it is not.  

Some of this talking is easy for various reasons, and sometimes it’s hard. 

Sometimes, we anticipate and embrace our interactions with others, and other times we try to avoid them at all costs.  

What happens on email, is another story!  

So when we need to have these crucial workplace conversations, what happens?

Crucial workplace conversations: The communication challenge(s)

When we consider important communication exchanges in our workplaces, or more broadly in our organisations, challenges abound.  Some of us may not feel like we are included in the conversations we want/need/should be involved in. Or we feel that our viewpoint/opinions are not heard.  Sometimes, questions are asked in a way that makes it difficult to share one’s opinions; we feel vulnerable, threatened even.  Some of us feel that the important issues are left under the table, while others are manoeuvred around.  

And when we are in the hot seat and charged with considering important issues or decisions, many of us will consult with those who we may think could help us – working our way through these trusted consultations one by one. But, we will probably think twice, or avoid completely, consulting with anyone who we suspect may work against us or be ‘difficult’ to deal with.   Many of us may feel uncomfortable having differing or dissenting voices in one place, and then feel inadequate about the need for an immediate response in such situations.  Matters of confirmation bias exist, along with perceptions around whose voice is listened to more than others.  

Speaking with a Generation Z young woman recently, she shared how she was amazed at just how much “corporate speak” was evident in meetings and conversations she was having in her first year in the workforce post university.  Her puzzlement was evident as she wondered why people didn’t speak more plainly.  “So much is left in guessing-land!”

And then there are those meetings where bosses do all the talking.  Yes, one-sided conversations are frustrating.  They may ask for input and wonder why little is shared.  There are those that talk regularly and those that remain quiet.  And then at the end of these discussions, they might ask “is everyone clear?”- to which everyone responds with a nod.  What really exists in the minds of each attendee remains a mystery and the chances of it being different for everyone would be close to 100% (my guess only)!

Are you starting to see the importance of and the frustrations that arise from crucial workplace conversations and dialogues? It can often be an overlooked challenge in many organisations. 

Let’s take a closer look at the words we use around the interchange of ideas, opinions and thoughts in our workplaces and organisations

In the English language, we rely upon very different words when referring to conversations.  Dictionaries show that various similar terms all have slightly different, and yet similar, meanings.  And of course, each of us have personal takes on what they mean to us based on our unique experience and interpretation.

“Conversation” is commonly defined as ‘an informal interchange of thoughts often between two or more people’. 

The word “conversation” almost suggests a sense of a warm connection between those involved.  “Dialogue” may feel more formal where there is an exchange of ideas and opinions on a particular topic, and where some form of agreement may emerge.  “Discussions” can be an examination of arguments (pro and con).

And yes, 

…with the exchange of sentiments, observations, opinions, or ideas, we had enough talk but no conversation; there was nothing discussed.

“Consultation” is about asking for advice or specific (or expert) information. The word “debate” has that sense of tension about it (in differing degrees depending on one’s culture) and can involve a systematic contest of speakers where two opposing views are advanced.  “Chatting” suggests a familiar and casual conversation, and we all know about “gossip”.  

What would be desirable characteristics of important “conversations”?

So, gleaning the best concepts of the above definitions, I would propose that important “conversations”​ hold the following characteristics (to name a few):

• The focus is, specifically, the important issue where there is a collective interest and/or impact, and that it is not left “under the table”.
• Good, open, clear questions are asked. These questions should help everyone explore the issue at hand from various angles as well as questions that help guide how decisions or considerations are made.  
• They are inclusive and all voices are listened to. Bringing in relevant and expert voices is also important. 
• Inviting differing viewpoints even if they are seemingly opposing and may create debate.  Holding the tension of opposites can be part of the journey to finding the best way forward.  
• Exchanges build relationships and connections rather than create insecurities, and lastly…
• People need to feel safe to speak up and share their viewpoints.

But ….

We stay silent for many reasons.  Each of us has our own story.

Many people value their desire to be accepted more than their need to say exactly what they think.  Many struggle with the uncomfortable emotions we experience when we think that what we say will potentially upset the other person.  

Power dynamics make this more complicated too, particularly as we also fear what we could lose if those who have perceived power over us do something we fear – like make our work life difficult, or hold our career back in some way.  

When discussing teams, Amy Edmondson adds to this when she talks about why some team members do not speak up – a barrier, she says, to true teaming.  

“When leaders fall into a default “do it my way” management style, it silences nearly everyone except the person with the loudest voice or the largest office.  But silence in today’s economic environment is deadly.  Silence means good ideas and possibilities don’t bubble up, and problems don’t get addressed.”

(Edmondson, Amy.C. (2012), p 63)

Susan Cain, says the following in her 2012 TED talk:

“… groups famously follow the opinions of the most dominant or charismatic person in the room, even though there’s zero correlation between being the best talker and having the best ideas – I mean zero.” 

So, what does not go well in crucial workplace conversations?

Real issues are avoided or not addressed properly. Best ideas are lost. People feel insecure, if not alienated and bosses feel frustrated – to name a few of the consequences when crucial conversations do not go well.

So, how can we get all the voices we need around specific issues and challenges into the mix?  How can we cherish diversity, be more respectful and tap the minds of many to get better and more robust outcomes? How can we entice our people to share their best ideas and considerations, and get them really engaged. Ensuring crucial conversations are effective is an imperative – especially in today’s world!

What needs to shift in our leadership practice as we hold, enable and support others around these important conversations? What needs to shift within us in order to truly participate in these conversations as well? Are there some valuable processes, administrated well, that could help? How can we move pass commonplace work conversations and towards the ones we long for? … ones that make a difference?

More in my next blog, but meanwhile, your comments, musings, questions and reflections would be welcomed.

References

Cain, Susan, (2012), “The Power of Introverts”​, TED Talk.

Edmondson, Amy C. (2012), “Teaming: How Organizations Learn, Innovate, and Compete in the Knowledge Economy“​, Jossey-Bass, San Francisco

Feedback vs viewpoints: Is it better to ask for feedback or gather viewpoints?

Feedback vs viewpoints: Let’s explore whether gathering perspectives (or viewpoints) – is better than asking for feedback.

In my last post I invited you to question who feedback was for: the person seeking it, or the one on the receiving end. 

We may be playing with words here. But come with me as we explore the subtleties of this and maybe some light will be shed on this for your own situation…  

What comes to mind when you think about asking for feedback?   

For me, my primal response to this question centers around the thought of having others “judge” me. It feels a little threatening, and it doesn’t warm my heart. Many may have differing responses, this is just mine.

However, I do care about improving myself in a way that helps those around me to do well so that they can be successful and enabled around their work. So, by definition, there is a conversation to be had with the people around me; if I have no data upon which to act, I’m in guessing-land, a land where assumptions abound. These assumptions may include:

• My assessment around how well I’m doing, or not,
• My reading about how I may be impacting other people,
• What I believe the other person is needing from me,
• My sense of what’s right, which will include what I believe that other person needs, or what is the “right” way to do something,
• My sense of how open I am and how prepared the other person is to share around “feedback” given my take on the quality of our connection.  

So, in addition to my own story about being “judged” (my risk), we often totally underestimate what it takes from the other person to be open and to share freely. It’s a risk to them as well. The “my door is open” syndrome goes unacknowledged. I don’t know how many leaders I have coached who all tell me that they are great bosses because they have an open door policy – indicating they are approachable and ‘there’ for their staff. This may very well be their intention (which I don’t question), however, what is totally underestimated is the courage needed for a staff member to actually approach that leader with certain views or comments. Risk abounds on both sides – and yet, we need to have the conversation so everyone can grow and work better together.  

Feedback vs viewpoints

All this got me thinking about a better way to deal with getting “feedback”, the common word we use and one I’m using here because we have a shared general understanding about this. My thinking has also extended to providing a simple to use tool to help with this, but more about that later.  

So here are some simple ways to get that critical “feedback” or data to help kickstart the conversations that help one grow and work better with the people around them:  

1.Change the focus. Asking for feedback around how you are performing invites judgement and critique. The focus is you – alone. But by changing the focus to “us” achieved by inviting information about what’s happening with them around what you are doing, helps create more focus on them as well as what is happening between you. The other benefit with this approach is that the other person can more reliably speak to their own experience rather than judge you (which is something we all think we are good at, but really we are not as our biases abound). It takes two to tango. 

2. Change the questions asked. The language and tone of questions can make a huge difference. Open questions are preferable. Simple questions are best. Questions starting with “what …” are good.   

“What insights do you have about…”

“Tell me about a time when…”.  

3. Improve your questions with experience. If you are not getting textural and useful comments from others, try and ask your questions differently. If you are getting yes or no answers, mono-syllables or brief phrases, your questions may need adjusting. We are often so conditioned to ask diagnostic questions, but in this case, we want to ask questions that solicit the other person’s story. Get them talking! It’s through these exchanges where the real nuggets of information will come to light.

4. Start with “loving critics”, if necessary. This is the advice of Tasha Eurich (in her book, “Insight”). These folk are more likely to be willingly honest about how things are with them when they interact with you. The quality of your relationship with them reduces the risk on both sides, and this helps you find a place of curiosity rather than defense. Then, with time, you can extend this to others, particularly after you have found the right questions to ask. 

5. Provide the context or focus along with the questions asked.  This context helps enable others to be more specific around answering your questions rather than second guessing. For example, when asking someone about what you could continue to do that might be helpful to them, this leaves things very open. They may answer something like “I like how you make my coffee”. But if you indicate the context as “project team lead” or “running meetings”, this helps the person significantly when providing their perspective. 

6. Think about collecting perspectives. We need to be careful if we listen to one story or listen for a narrow response. Collecting the perspectives from many will help you find a richer story around what is happening between you and them. Everyone is different, and may need different things from you. Seeing these differences is important as everyone moves forward together, as well as your own growth.

7. Think about collecting perspectives or viewpoints from people with different types of relationship with you. In 360-speak, we call these rater groups like boss, direct reports, and peers. These different groups have different needs and expectations. But perhaps it is time to think of these groups differently. Try moving away from these normative labels.  

8. Verbatims are more useful than numbers. We are so tempted to ask for numbers. We are seduced into thinking that if we get numerical scores, we can monitor our progress. What we forget is that with time, the expectation of others changes and hence our relative position on a scale changes. Verbatims give us the real information needed to both reflect upon as well as take the conversations needed to the next level. This is progress.  

“Feedback” or gathering perspectives is an important conversation starter. It is important also as we as leaders reflect on our leader practice, as well as helping us think about our own development.   

While we have written here more about individuals seeking input from others, this same principle and practice is good when seeking to help our teams work better together, as we collectively address challenges or explore new ideas or initiatives, or even test the viability of our startups or new business ventures. Collecting perspectives is a great way to kick start important conversations as we all seek to do good work with good people while achieving good results.  

Remember, collecting perspectives/viewpoints or asking for feedback is not only about you, but it is also about the other people and what is happening between you.  

In an upcoming post I will share more specific information about a piece of the leadership toolkit I have been working on around 360 feedback and how it can help leaders have the right conversations, with the right people, for the right reasons.

Feedback and leadership: Who is feedback about? You or them?

Feedback and leadership: A new coachee sent me his most recent 360 feedback report ahead of our coaching session. He did so reluctantly. And this reluctance represented his approach to our upcoming coaching session. (This was not judgement on my behalf, as he actually told me this himself).  

On reading his report, I quickly saw that he had asked 51 people to rate him, of which 43 responded. He subsequently told me that he was very pleased with this response rate – all while I was calculating in my head the man-hours his company technically spent on producing this 360 report! On asking him about the reason he chose to run this 360 (which was his choice to do so), he explained he did it to double-check he was doing okay in his current role, one he had been in for two years. He also saw little in the results to suggest there was anything he needed to work on – though in my mind, opportunities abounded.  

Before we get into the main point here, yes, I have to admit I had a moment after I finished my coaching session – when I thought of my coachee’s self-indulgent intention (my judgement). But this scenario is not unusual (re his intent not around numbers of raters) as people do want to know they are doing an okay (or great) job and that they don’t have any major problems to worry about within their role.  

But this is not what really captivated my thoughts in this scenario…  

For a long while now, I’ve been thinking that feedback is actually more about the giver than the receiver.  

“Your feedback to others is always more you than them.”  

(Buckingham, M & Goodall, A (2019))

So potentially the lost opportunity my coachee had was thinking about what he could learn about all those that took time to fill out his 360. After all, these are the people he works with, some more closely than others, and others potentially more strategically important.  

Why are we giving/receiving feedback? What’s the real reason?

The ability to give feedback to your team is the cornerstone of any leadership role. We get trapped into thinking this is more about the boss giving the subordinate feedback, than it is about their performance and development.   

We are taught about feedback in leadership programmes along with various formulae to help us give it – and we are expected to be able to do so after only a brief instructional session. In many ways, it is not that simple. But on the other hand, it perhaps is more simple.  

What we do know is that there is something about feedback that isn’t happening.

Something else we know is that in high performing teams, team members provide feedback to each other – safely.   

So perhaps the reframe here is that “feedback” is around sharing our different perspectives and having the conversations where it is about both parties. It’s a two-way process. It is about everyone’s growth, and working together – no matter how much diversity exists. A thought, but more later.  

Feedback and leadership: What’s the point of feedback?

It’s easy to “judge” someone and pass on our “wisdom”. And we know that feedback comes at us from all angles as it is given to us in abundance…

“We swim in an ocean of feedback. Bosses, colleagues, customers-but also family, friends, and in-laws-they all have “suggestions” for our performance, parenting, or appearance. We know that feedback is essential for healthy relationships and professional development-but we dread it and often dismiss it. That’s because receiving feedback sits at the junction of two conflicting human desires. We do want to learn and grow. And we also want to be accepted just as we are right now.”

(Stone & Heen (2014))

As we all grow in our careers and climb up the ladder, our senses of responsibility to deliver heightens as does – hopefully – our desire to see our people grow. Good intentions abound. But as givers of feedback, we also want to be accepted in our roles. And whether we like it or not, our learning doesn’t stop with higher positions.  

Let me slip another fact in here. Givers and receivers of feedback all feel discomfort in varying degrees – especially if it’s about tough or sensitive issues.   

So perhaps the point of feedback is around starting or initiating important and relevant conversations where both parties have a role. Perhaps the point of feedback is not actually the feedback itself but the context in which it exists, or the challenge shared together. For example, it could be about the team’s timeliness of deliverables or a boss supporting a reportee’s strategic thinking development, to name a few. There are mutualities in all these and this is where growth and learning together provides the best outcomes.  

And the discomfort felt by all is something that we learn to embrace as our working relationships become stronger.  

Back to the 360 for feedback and leadership…

At the beginning of this article, we spoke about the coachee who had just received a 360 report.  

“360 instruments date back to the 1950s and they are designed to provide feedback from a range of different groups, the boss, the peers, direct reportees and various other groups as needed or seen appropriate. They are now widely used in organisations, and there is a high chance that any employee progressing in a corporation has received at least one 360 review.

Now, digging into this, there is a wide range of practice in organisations around how they are best used.  

Used at their best, they are a powerful and impactful tool, but at their worst, it can be quite insidious leaving employees vulnerable in an unhealthy way – a cop out for poor leaders and HR professionals. There are different approaches to models used, questions, styles and along with statistical modeling providing “indications” around how good a leader you are (though bias exists) and based on various research practices, some more robust than others.” 

(Eurich, T. (2017))

360s definitely have their place especially if they are robust and administered safely and properly. Given how time consuming they can be (if you add up everyone’s time), one would not want to run them too often.  

This all said, it would still be important to embrace what we have been talking about in previous sections. It is an opportunity to learn about our raters, reflect and be curious about where gaps emerge, and use it to start important and relevant conversations.  

It’s about the collective, not only you, the leader.

It’s about the givers and receivers – together!

It’s about learning together and owning our own learning within our varying working relationships – whether we are the giver or the receiver.  

It’s about starting important and relevant conversations, and the relationships that are necessary to safely have these conversations.  

So hopefully now you are more aware of the importance of feedback for everyone involved in the process and in my upcoming post I look forward to sharing my personal take on 360 feedback and some work I’ve been doing to help leaders improve the relevance of this important leadership tool.

References:

Buckingham, M. & Goodall, A. (2019), “The Feedback Fallacy”, Harvard Business Reivew, March-April 2019

Stone, D. and Heen, S. (2014), “Thanks for the Feedback: The Science and Art of Receiving Feedback Well”, Penguin, London. 

Eurich, T. (2017), “Insight: The Power of Self-Awareness in a Self-Deluded World”, MacMillan, London.

3 tips to improve your feedback approach. Hint: it’s more about collecting perspectives than being negative

“Feedback went out the window with us when we did our workshops. There is no need for feedback as long as you can express what you saw and what you felt and not make judgements (about you).”

(Reflections on a Life in OD (video) Marvin Weisbord)

We all have a personal reaction to the word feedback... 

• We might immediately think of someone who dumped feedback on us and it left a sour taste in our mouth.
• Annual appraisals where constructive feedback is often delivered in between layers of lip-service compliments.
• Or maybe we have had to deliver feedback to someone and it felt awkward and confronting.

But the interesting thing is that despite all the perceived ‘awkwardness’ of feedback, it’s a game changer for the top leaders who regularly seek it out…

“One study showed that 83 percent of top-performing leaders regularly solicit feedback, compared to just 17 percent of the worst-performing ones.”  Eurich, T. (2017)

What role does feedback play in the workplace?

We read a lot about it, and the need for offering relevant feedback to ensure employees are learning and doing things in the way we want them to.

It’s spoken of as critical for engagement in the workplace and in leadership development courses we get plenty of feedback – given in subtle, or less than subtle ways. 

We get it (or give it) in appraisals. If we want to coach, we are told to do it. There are formulas. Acronyms. Books. And plenty of research around the potential positive results of it.

However, with all the “wisdom” out there on feedback, we are not seeing the benefits of the many leadership development programs that tout its relevance. 

Curiously – as quoted in Tasha Eurich’s book “Insight” (pg. 166), Blumberg’s study (1972 but still relevant) confirms …

…“disconcerting evidence of something many of us secretly fear: that our employees, co-workers, friends, and family probably are sharing what they think about us – they’re just not sharing it with us!” ….. “This grim reality can get grimmer at work.”

You are not alone if you cannot think of a time when you received honest, critical feedback outside an HR-mandated performance review (or sometimes even in one). “Good job” lip service is often given to our face while candid opinions are shared behind our backs. Some people even lie to protect their social standing or relationship with the person.  

The problem with giving feedback? We are often too close to the situation…

Despite the best efforts, courses, coaching and other skills, us humans are simply not fully able to give feedback in a completely objective way….

“….humans are unreliable raters of other humans. Over the past 40 years psychometricians have shown in study after study that people don’t have the objectivity to hold in their heads a stable definition of an abstract quality, such as business acumen or assertiveness, and then accurately evaluate someone else on it. Our evaluations are deeply coloured by our own understanding of what we’re rating others on, our own sense of what good looks like for a particular competency, our harshness or leniency as raters, and our own inherent and unconscious biases.”

(Buckingham & Goodall (2019))

This theme is taken up in detail in “Nine Lies About Work” in Chapter Six, “Lie #6: People can reliably rate other people”.

And even when we do get better at the whole feedback piece we often go too far, too deep, too quick…

“We swim in an ocean of feedback. Bosses, colleagues, customers-but also family, friends, and in-laws-they all have “suggestions” for our performance, parenting, or appearance. We know that feedback is essential for healthy relationships and professional development-but we dread it and often dismiss it. That’s because receiving feedback sits at the junction of two conflicting human desires. We do want to learn and grow. And we also want to be accepted just as we are right now.”

(Stone & Heen (2014))

So, what’s the answer? Are we doomed in our feedback endeavours? Absolutely not!

Here are 3 tips to help you keep (if not build) good relationships with the people you work with and get the feedback you need to learn and grow.

Remember Marvin Weisbord’s quote at the top of this article?

Let’s reframe the conversation around feedback. Let’s think about changing the focus of the feedback. Instead of getting others to “judge” you against certain criteria, ask others about their experience. In this way, the focus becomes more about the giver of feedback and their perspectives help start important conversations. Your learning and growth opportunity is around how you then respond to what you hear and how you engage in the ongoing and necessary conversations.  

1. Change the questions asked around feedback

For example, instead of:

“Jane Doe is a good team leader isn’t she?” 

 (This question invites others to exercise judgement, which we want to avoid.)

Try asking:

“What does Joe Doe do that helps you as a member of your team?”

“What would you like her to do more of? Less of? Or even stop?”

(This helps build better working relationships in the team as well as giving Jane Doe vital information about the needs and perspective of the team members.)  

2. Reframe how you see/hear the feedback differently

Apart from the appraisal comments, 360 feedback can be one of the primary ways to gather perspectives (aka feedback) in a fairly safe, and more complete and objective way (assuming the questions are asked in the right way and the 360 is administered correctly). Many large organisations have used this method for a long time now. But if the way the results are being read and interpreted are not working, or even dismissed selectively, then the approach might need tweaking.

For example, if you get a low score for ‘how you listen’ or someone says something about you that you don’t agree with. Don’t feel judged, but be curious about what might be happening between you and the person who provided the feedback. They may have a need, a mental model or a value that you are not aware of, and this is an opportunity for you to explore this. As such, this feedback is also about that person and what is happening in between you and them. Being curious about them (in addition to ourselves) as well as what the gap or difference is all about is important. Our opportunity for growth is about our choice to do something different in order to improve the relationship, what is happening between you and the necessary and relevant conversations required in these relationships.  

Approaching appraisal and other workplace feedback in the same manner will also be helpful. 

This curiosity piece in leadership is a big one and I talk more about the value of curiosity in empathy in a recent blog here.

3. Teach or encourage giving feedback differently 

Make it simple. Make it clear. Make it curiosity driven and open to discussion. 

For example, you might start sharing your feedback with…

“This is what I see and hear” – using descriptive, non-judgemental language, 

“And this is the story I tell myself about this.” 

Then draw them into the conversion by asking …

“I’m keen to hear your thoughts on this too. What does your story say?”

At the end of the day, we absolutely need to hear what others are thinking/feeling/saying about what’s happening within our team and organisation. And what they’re thinking/feeling/saying about you as a leader or manager. This is the wisdom around a “feedback” rich environment that engenders engagement. Not always an easy path, but a worthwhile one when you start to integrate what the feedback is saying and giving you opportunities for growth.

What’s happening for others in our work relationships matters and “feedback” is (or should be) around answering the question: “how can we listen to their messages?” instead of taking offence or ignoring them.

But don’t get me wrong, it is NOT about doing everything to keep everyone else happy either! It’s about the conversations needed to ensure everyone finds a way to be heard (you included) and how to work together, grow together and build respectful working relationships while you all fulfil the purpose your organisation requires of you (collectively).  

I’d love to hear from you about how feedback is currently managed within your team or company and where you think the process works well (or not!)

References

Buckingham, M and Goodall, A (2019), “Nine Lies About Work”, Harvard Business Review Press, Boston. 

Eurich, T (2017), “Insight: The Power of Self-Awareness in a Self-Deluded World”, MacMillan, London. 

Folkman, J (2015), “Top Ranked Leaders Know This Secret: Ask For Feedback”, Forbes, online Jan 8 2015.

Stone, D. and Heen, S (2014), “Thanks for the Feedback: The Science and Art of Receiving Feedback Well”, Penguin, London.  

Weisbord, M (2020), “Reflections on a Life in OD : A Conversation with Marvin Weisbord (video)” hosted by Dr. Mee-Yan Cheung Judge during her  ‘Just in Case…’ mini-series, YouTube.

Want to Embrace Empathy in your Workplace? First: Get Curious

One of the best things for me last year was that COVID afforded me a semi-sabbatical. I got to focus on a few of my major passions in an organisational context, one being – understanding the role and importance of empathy in our workplaces.

Whether this was a focus for organisations prior to the pandemic or not, COVID has made it front and centre that our workforce matters, and that we need to just generally be a lot more ‘human’ in the way we work together. Both get big thumbs up in my book!

And talking of books, a dear friend and colleague Michael Jenkins of Expert Humans has recently published his latest book – “Expert Humans: Critical Leadership Skills For A Disrupted World.” It is a very timely publication as he examines the critical leadership concepts of Altruism, Compassion and Empathy and how the application of these can help support the strong need to humanising our workplaces.

In one of our many discussions, Michael and I were exploring various roads into empathy and its vital role in a leader’s toolkit.

He graciously quoted me in his book. I firmly believe that curiosity is a pre cursor to empathy. And here’s why…

“Leaders frequently get feedback about their perceived inability to empathise – whether it be during leadership development programmes, 360 assessments or annual reviews. This is often a source of frustration for them because some find it hard to get their head around how empathy actually works, let alone how best to develop themselves to be more empathetic.

In various coaching conversations with CEOs and senior leaders, I’ve often suggested that they approach things differently – and start from a place of curiosity. Having curiosity about others helps a leader to be more open to other people and their situations. It can draw them towards these people. This is the opposite to taking a more removed, judgemental approach as leaders attempt to try to work out what’s gone wrong in a given situation.”

How can you invite more curiosity (and empathy) into your workplace?

I am a big fan of questions. And this is the perfect opportunity to ask questions and invite in the curiosity… because you cannot be curious while also being judgemental. And that’s the key here – judgement has no place alongside empathy. A well-asked open question, while remaining open and listening to their response is a big step towards empathy. It does not have to be the big gesture that makes the biggest difference!

“Leadership is about looking after the people that look after the results.”

How are you embracing curiosity and empathy in your organisation?

Michael is Chief Executive Officer at Expert Humans and Partner, FutureWork Forum. He is also a recognised thinker of our time – listed in HR Magazine – as one of the Most Influential HR Thinkers (2016). 

The central focus of this book – Altruism, Compassion and Empathy – is dear to his heart and very central in all the work he does. He walks and talks the subject of his new book. A must-read for any leader!

Generational Stereotypes in The Workplace

Let’s talk about something that might make you feel a little uncomfortable.

Age.

Whatever age you’re at now, you’re likely surrounded by an array of people from multiple generations. In fact, never before have we witnessed the current spectrum of ages in our workplaces. Think about that for a moment. It’s highly common for a large organisation to include employees who have never known a time without wifi, smartphones and Facebook (!) as well as older employees born into the post-war era who probably remember food rationing and the rebuilding of bombed cities. Mind boggling when you think of that range of life experience!

How does this play out in organisations in 2021?

Having generations work together on the immense challenges facing our businesses (and the world) is one of today’s most exciting opportunities, that we can all embrace and learn from. It could even become a critical success factor as we adapt and pivot in a new world of doing business.

Each generation brings wonderful strength and aspirations, and encourages us to see things from polar opposite extremes.

No-one is more passionate about this topic than my friend and colleague Rachele Focardi. 

Prior to her book – Reframing Generational Stereotypes – being released, we had great fun discussing the role of individual and team coaching and how it can help organisations embrace the uniqueness of a multi-generational workforce. I was thrilled when she asked me for quotes for her book!

For me, one of my greatest joys at this point in my career is the opportunity to work with a diverse range of people (diverse in age as well as experience and culture!). I am working on various projects at present, and I so value the differing perspectives that I witness, and I continue to learn from each of them!

What are your experiences, challenges and successes working across the generations? 

3 Reasons your CHRO Needs to be on your Board

In the previous articles Michael Jenkins and myself have written about the Chair, CEO and CHRO relationships and dynamics (links below), we have touched on some of the defining moments a CHRO might face in their career as well as how an organisation might benefit from having a CHRO on the board (rather than just presenting to it).

In this short piece I wanted to highlight 3 of the many key reasons a CHRO can benefit a company by being on the board as a regular member.

Let’s unpack to see how differently these scenarios might play out if the CHRO were a permanent fixture in the boardroom…

1.Managing through crisis / emergency situations

Prior to 2020 and the global pandemic words such as ‘crisis’, ‘emergency’, ‘business continuity plan’ might have not formed part of everyday vocabulary for many businesses. It might have even seemed like overkill to be worrying about things we thought could never affect us on a macro level.

Wow, how wrong we all were!

Having a CHRO in an executive function for situations such as a pandemic (but also security issues, travel crises, natural disasters, press issues etc. etc.) means that someone is leading the organisation’s response from a commercial as well as a ‘people’ perspective. So many things could fall through the cracks if these areas are not addressed, and many companies found that out the hard way.

This isn’t to say that the CHRO necessarily does all of the planning and managing, but they oversee that all the moving parts are in play when needed (think logistics such as remote offices, tech set up, workforce management, employee health considerations, media communications… the list goes on!). Where the finance people do their thing, and the team leaders make sure the day to day operations run smoothly, the CHRO can be the umbrella go-to person for all the people issues and considerations that need to be attended to.

Talking of people issues…

2. Acting as the ‘people’ link between the board and the employees

Another way to look at the CHRO on the board role is that they can be (or should be) a champion of the ‘people’ – the employees of the organisation, making sure they have a voice in the boardroom too. Because most CHROs have their ears to the ground, they are often able to bring a completely new dynamic to the table and bridge the gap between executives who might not spend much time on the ‘front line’. 

And this works both ways – they are also able to pass down board directives in a way that translates to each team and employee’s needs. Employees will always benefit from understanding why a decision was made.

3. The inclusivity and diversity factor

There is no getting away from the fact that if an organisation continues to bury its head in the sand regarding inclusivity and diversity and any of the other issues this encompasses, then it won’t end well. This goes beyond simply ensuring the gender pay gap is closed, and a diverse workforce is in place. Those are the bare minimum must-haves. For any company wanting to last the distance, it will take a complete cultural shift and for all levels of the business to truly embody a culture of empathy, inclusivity and diversity – in all its forms. 

The CHRO’s role on the board is to ensure that these are not simply tick box exercises but that the company is transformed inside out to ensure that they are truly a culturally diverse organisation.

None of these things can happen overnight; that’s for sure. And while it might seem like things are too slow moving, simply having these conversations and making the iterative changes needed is exactly how big changes take place.

Having a coach or a guide to help organisations through these processes is also key; it is not something that can or should be done alone.

The Five Pillars of Success for your CHRO: Wish List or Wishful Thinking?

This article pulls in pieces from previous articles written in conjunction with Michael Jenkins of Expert Humans.

Previous articles can be found here:

When we look at the model of a world-class Chief Human Resources Officer (CHRO), you might be excused for mistaking this as five, or more, roles in one! After all, which other role in an organisation asks that you have such a top down – as well as – bottom up approach at this level? It’s usually one or the other with a gap in between.

That gap is often filled with the CHRO role and their corresponding functions.

But how realistic is this wishlist of desirable traits, functions and experiences all in one person? Or is this just wishful thinking on the part of leadership boards who want to be seen to be ‘doing the right thing’ by having all the puzzle pieces in place?

These high level pillars of success demanded of today’s CHRO includes an impressive array of skills and attributes that might see them, in a single day, taking part in stakeholder engagement meetings one minute, resolving an employee safety issue the next, attending the board meeting presenting the company’s approach to culture and diversity and wrapping up the day contributing to the financial forecasting model for the next quarter. 

That’s quite a day by anyone’s marker!

Let’s take a deeper five into each of the 5 pillars of success for your CHRO to understand more…

1.Board’s Leader of Human Capital

• Plan and support CEO succession
• Build shareholder supported executive compensation
• Surface and respond to external trends

2. Creator of Talent Strategy

• Ensure critical role staffing
• Design talent management processes
• Direct strategic workforce planning

3. Enterprise Change Leader

• Challenge the status quo
• Plan strategic enterprise changes
• Manage stakeholder
• Advocate for employees

4. Driver of Culture and Purpose

• Link purpose to culture
• Measure and communicate the culture
• Hold leadership accountable for the culture promise

5. Trusted Advisor and Coach

• Advise and coach the CEO
• Maximise the senior team effectiveness
• Coach and develop key enterprise talent

Business Acumen

• Business models
• Financials
• External markets
• Customers

Business Strategy Development

• Stage and influence business strategy
• Partner with executive peers to move the organisation forward

Functional Business Leader

• Create a future-focussed, financially disciplined team to run the HR function

What are some of the potential risks or pitfalls in attempting to box everything together in one CHRO role?

• Not having a place on the board, yet expected to handle executive level ‘people’ matters
• Consistently evolving and disruptive markets and labour force trends

Defining Moments for CHROs 

There are a range of defining moments that are critical for any CHRO incumbent (as defined by the CHRO Global Leadership Board (CGLB)’s white paper):

• Managing a CEO Transition
• Managing Executives Through a Sensitive/Crisis Situation
• Leading Independent Board Interactions (Engaging board members in meetings and individual interactions on sensitive issues that require navigating tensions between the CEO and Board (i.e. CEO performance conversations)
• Driving Executive Decision Making Around a Key Trend Affecting the Enterprise
• Delivering Capabilities for a Business Transformation or New Business Acquisition
• Designing a Strategy to Enable an Organisation to Implement the Right Structure for Future Business Needs
• Leading a Bold Experiment
• Implementing a Large-Scale Change to Compensation or Benefits
• Crafting a New Mission/ Vision/Values
• Leading a Cultural Transformation
• Managing Impact of Digitalization on Culture
• Engaging Executives in Critical Dialogue on Leadership Needs
• Courageously Advocating a Contrarian Position With the CEO

“The new CEO will find it easy to obtain strategic, operational, and financial data while getting up to speed, but will need someone to explain other executives’ personal backstories and interrelationships and why and how some of the company’s more idiosyncratic practices evolved. Ideally, a CHRO can also offer candid feedback on how the new leader’s early words and actions are perceived in the organization.” 

[Ref: Ciampa, D. “After the Handshake, Succession doesn’t end when a new CEO is hired”, HBR, Dec. 2016]

 Ciampa goes on to say: 

“When a large retail company recruited an outsider to succeed the CEO, the company’s CHRO called him the next day and explained that although they’d spent time together during the search process, he wanted a meeting to discuss an onboarding plan and the company’s political structure. The CHRO travelled to the new CEO’s distant city, and they spent hours talking about the challenges of transition. The new leader found it invaluable.” 

[Ciampa, D. (2016)]

As you cast your eye across those defining moments for a CHRO, it is not hard to realise that one would need to work closely with the CEO (and other CXOs) as well as the Board, including the Chair.  This is one reason why many call for the CHRO to be on the Board – a call that has been out for decades now. And yet there has been little movement in this area.  What has changed during these decades though, are the growing complexities around people issues that organisations face. So why has the call yet to be taken up? 

Being on the Board, rather than just presenting to the Board every so often, would be helpful for many reasons.  While being able to make compelling, timely and useful presentations to the Board is one important capability for a CHRO, being present as the Board considers, if not struggles with, “people-related issues” would seem sensible in many ways.  However, this is all easier said than done. So in reality…. where are the CHROs (in the organisation)? How can they connect with the Board?

As we look at the organisations that surround us, more often than not, we find the equivalent to the CHRO organisationally in two places.  They either report to the CEO or they are structurally under the COO or equivalent, given HR is frequently deemed a “service”. This means that they have a job to do if they are to reach or connect with the Board. It is going to require effort.

For their part, Boards are normally filled with former CEOs and the predominant background of directors is usually finance or law.  Depending on the nature of the organisation, there may be some domain experts on the Board.  So traditionally, directors tend not to have deep experience or a background in the “people side” of the business. A less-than-ideal situation can be made worse on the Executive side (where one might look for “people-oriented inputs”) by some CEOs who, lacking a strong financial component to their own professional skillset, will often bring in a strong CFO, but seldom be self-aware enough to recognise that they might lack a strong “people” aspect to their repertoire as well. This means a CEO is highly unlikely to bring in a strong CHRO to compensate for his or her lack of skill on the human side. It isn’t something that will come automatically into a CEO’s calculus for strengthening the company’s chances of success. 

Few CEOs will ever admit that they might need help in that area i.e. working with human beings – with the result that for some CEOs, even considering CHROs as a resource to do just that – doesn’t get any headspace time at all. And this state of play, or attitude, is further strengthened by the lingering impression held by some that CHROs are first and foremost the custodians of rules and regulations and that if they happen to be compassionate and empathic – well then, that’s a bonus. All these elements conspire to make it really challenging for CHROs to be able to change attitudes and alter the status quo. 

So how might these challenges be addressed?

Could redefining the nature of their human relationship with the CEO be one way of improving matters? Could this be one way of ensuring that CHROs don’t remain “hidden in plain sight”, as far as CEOs are concerned? Given that CHROs on Boards are thin on the ground (see quotation below) – perhaps it does fall to the CEO to champion the CHRO. 

“According to DHR’s own research, only twenty-eight active CHROs are currently serving on the boards of Fortune 1000 companies.”  (Magsig & McGrath (2019), “Why Now Is the Time to Have a CHRO on Your Board”, DHR white paper)

So for the CEO to champion the CHRO, the relationship needs to be strong and trusting. The CEO also needs a strong bond with the Chair. Anecdotally, we hear of situations where CHROs, tasked with taking responsibility around organisation culture and values, find it difficult, if not impossible, to lift the conversation to the Board level – precisely because awkward or flinty dynamics exist around the Chair/CEO relationship. The bridge just isn’t there.  

Pillars of success for your CHRO: The bottom line. 

So, as we review the five pillars of success for the CHRO, we are very mindful of the first criticism that emerges when thinking of the capability of the CHRO (or HR in general) – they lack focus on the numbers and a strategic mindset while getting too bogged down in rules and black/white thinking.  The HR community also spends a lot of time upskilling themselves and finding ways to be more relevant within their organisations.

One of my favourite (and toughest) coaching questions to ask of leaders as they struggle with the performance of their people is “what are you doing that is contributing to the situation?”  

Perhaps it is time for CEOs and Chairs to meet the aspiring HR leader by providing opportunities for them to step up, while also giving them the support they need in order to be successful.  This is what good bosses do as they develop the talent needed in the organisation.  Part of this is also providing developmental career path opportunities.  

Perhaps it’s time for CEOs to become more engaged, play their part and invite their HR leaders to at least interact with the Board more often, as well as setting the tone in the senior management team as they participate alongside all CxOs.  

CEOs, you can make a difference in the success of your HR leader, as well as lifting the quality of the necessary people-related discussions needed in the Board and Senior Management Team.  

The Chair-CEO-CHRO Relationship – SuperTrio or is 3 a crowd?

By Dr Robyn Wilson and Michael Jenkins

(Original article published by People Matters, July 2020)

SuperTrio or is 3 a crowd?

In this article, the third of three looking at the human relationships between the Chair, the CEO and the CHRO, we examine what happens as they interact at a granular, and sometimes painfully, human level.

If you missed the others in the series, here they are:

In our research for these articles we sensed a strengthening of our hypothesis around both the importance of this trio and the relative paucity of debate about it. And as this realisation began to dawn, we decided to try to improve our understanding of these critical organisational dynamics and take things deeper.

In this article therefore, we examine the three relationships as they interact at a granular, and sometimes painfully, human level.We consider what happens when the nature, degree and intensity of the triadic relationship suffers dysfunction or is sub-optimal. Finally, we offer up some positive suggestions which we hope will create some optimism for the future of this valuable group and their contribution to organisational life. 

What we know so far…

In recent years, former Harvard Professor, Ram Charan, has spoken about the need to elevate the CHRO role to be on a par with that of the CFO:

In most companies, there is a rigor about the financial side, but numbers don’t drive the company, people do.” (Menon, R. (2018))

Professor Charan also shares his belief that it is important for CEOs and CHROs to bond. There must be strong trust for the relationship to succeed – along with respect for each other’s judgment.  Only then can CHROs “position themselves as partners and constructive challengers” and help the CEO with the many people-centred challenges faced by the business.  

In their white paper, “Why Now Is the Time to Have a CHRO on Your Board”, authors Magsig and McGrath write that:

Without a forward-looking human resources plan, a subset of the business strategy designed to maintain and engage the people required to execute the strategy at every level, even the best strategy is of little use.

Given today’s turbulent economic environment, businesses need to pivot and transform faster than ever before. The CHRO not only has to keep up – but in fact, stay ahead of the game. The CHRO needs to be totally on top of a range of critical people issues – such as ongoing succession planning for all mission-critical positions.  (This would include the CEO and all executive positions and those tightly connected to the central strategy of the business). This is but one of the many things the CHRO needs to pulse-check constantly, ensuring that strategy and culture are both kept top of the agenda. 

Magsig and McGrath also quote the Harvard Business Review: 

Strategy and culture are among the primary levers at leaders’ disposal in their never-ending quest to maintain organizational viability and effectiveness …. When aligned with strategy and leadership, a strong culture drives positive organizational outcomes. (Groysberg et.al. (2018))

Given that many Board members have not been exposed to top-performing CHROs and have not had the experience to deal with the kind of complexities habitually handled by a world-class CHRO, the authors posit that it is time to get CHROs onto the Board:

Having a CHRO as a director would help ensure that these critical issues are addressed and managed regularly by the Board.  (Magsig, M & McGrath, J (2019))ⁱⁱ

It is interesting to observe that in this white paper and in other similar articles calling for CHRO involvement with the Board, little if any comment is ever made about the relationship between the Chair and CHRO.  It seems to be left largely to itself, quietly overlooked.  We do know though, that much is written about the importance of the Chair-CEO relationship as noted in our earlier article. The references to the CEO-CHRO relationship that have however surfaced are often made in connection with the recognition of the growing importance of culture in organisations – and the linking of both roles (CEO and CHRO) to the question of how organisational culture is shaped and influenced.

In an interview with Professor Patrick Wright of the Darla Moore School of Business, University of South Carolina, conducted by ThePeopleSpace (UK), findings from Professor Wright’s latest CHRO study were shared.  Among the results, culture is shown to be rising up the ranks of priorities for CHROs.  

Organization culture is back in vogue. But not for all the right reasons. Whether it’s the #MeToo movement, staff fabricating bank accounts to meet their goals at US financial services multinational Wells Fargo, or the harassment and discrimination at Uber, a toxic company culture has been to blame.  (Harrington, S. (2019))

Which means that Boards are feeling the heat, not just the CEO and CHRO.  And unsurprisingly, the result is that Boards are focusing more on understanding culture – which in turn makes them question what the CEO and CHRO are doing about it. 

So who’s supposed to be in charge of “culture”?

The key roles involved in shaping “culture” are recognised as being Chairs, Board Directors, CEOs and CHROs.  There seems to be general agreement that CEOs need to “own culture”, while CHROs understand that “managing culture” is part of their remit.  Board Directors often view culture through the lens of mitigating risk – though some, according to Professor Wright, “…are starting to become much more focused on culture, as they believe that a positive culture can lead to better customer service and a better customer experience.” “But,” he adds “Do they actually know what the culture is in terms of the espoused values, how real is it in the organisation and what is the company doing to manage it?” (Harrington, S. (2019)^iv).  “Finally, an area of CHRO, CEO and Board alignment: Culture”).

So, one thing is clear: there is without question a meeting place for these three roles – Chair, CEO and CHRO – and central to that meeting place, amongst many issues, is culture.

In light of this, let’s look at these relationships in more detail. 

Under the microscope: the Chair-CEO-CHRO (The SuperTrio)

To explore the relationships between the Chair, CEO and CHRO further, we examined a range of different scenarios that might result as an outcome depending on how close or distant their respective relationships were from each other, using a diagrammatic convention, The SuperTrio Model^©, to illustrate our interpretation of what can happen as the trio interact.  

In our diagrams, the circles indicate the person’s (working) relationships.  We consider three scenarios:

• When their respective circles do not touch, this denotes a distant relationship where there is no engagement, if any.  The chances are that their working relationships do not overlap either.  The key word to describe this sort of relationship is “transactional”.
• If the circles touch, this is an indication of perhaps a cordial relationship. In reality it may indicate that interactions tend to be limited to set-piece meetings only.
• If their circles are overlapping, this is an indication that they comfortably bring others into their discussions – and that their own relationships are close.  

In all cases, depending on the combination of types of relationships, the different business scenarios represent opportunities for growth (or improvement). They also imply risk too, should there be inaction.  

Let’s take a look at two potential examples.

Example One: CHRO out in the cold?

In this example, the Chair and CEO have a cordial and friendly relationship, but neither is close to the CHRO, for whatever reason (See Figure 1).  In this scenario, some of the following situations may play out:

• Given the cordial and friendly relationship between the Chair and CEO, they may not ever have spoken much about the CHRO, nor thought to involve him much, nor perhaps do they see the CHRO as particularly relevant.
• They may doubt the CHRO is up to a standard whereby he could be helpful with issues surfacing at the Board level. 
• They may not in fact trust the CHRO that much, and because of their own cordial relationship, conversations with the CHRO involving both Chair and CEO – for the most part – just don’t happen.  
• The CHRO may lack the capability to assert himself or even build the necessary bridges with the CEO and Chair and 
• The CHRO for his part may not see his role stretching into issues debated at the Board.
• And as far as the Board is concerned, the CHRO simply fades into the background.

The risks of inaction in this scenario would be: 

• Firstly – a lost opportunity to bring the CHRO into the many people-related conversations that both the Chair and Board would need to have – as well as the chance to work closely with the CEO in the business. 
• Secondly, there would be lost opportunities for the Chair and CEO to have frank, timely and useful conversations – should their relationship never develop beyond the “cordial and slightly removed”.

Opportunities for growth – it is probably incumbent on the CEO to make the first move to bring the CHRO into the conversation. 

• The CEO will need to “fly the flag” for the CHRO and look for opportunities to strengthen the personal brand of the CHRO. 

• Some of the actions we listed in our second article would go a long way to boosting the standing of the CHRO:
  • The CHRO should invite challenge by the CEO and Chair so as to learn how to hold a point of view and how to present it in the face of opposition (and at the Board level), while also learning how to listen carefully to those with counter views. 
  • Given that CHROs often have to be the custodians of organisational rules, processes, and procedures, CHROs should invite the CEO specifically to challenge them around  any tendency they might have to be judgmental. 
  • Trust. The CHRO has to develop trust across the organisation and that means developing a trusting environment and gaining the trust of others. The starting point needs to be the CEO and the Chair. 
• In our experience, a Chair and Board that does not trust the CHRO of the organisation will (metaphorically) simply cast them aside. As Chair,  you can help avoid this by making a point of checking in with the CHRO from time to time (and not only when there is a Board meeting), and
• Challenge your CEO to look for ways to bring the CHRO into the conversation and enable wider exposure for him.

Example Two: Heading for trouble 

In this example, the Chair and CHRO have a good working relationship and the CEO is more distant from them both (see Figure 2).  This scenario may have been created, and ultimately play out, in the following way: 

• The Chair and CHRO have worked closely together as they managed the CEO search, recruitment, and appointment together.
• The Chair and CHRO may even have worked together in another organisation and/or have some shared past, a particular way of working together or something similar.
• It may be that the CEO prefers to keep the Chair at arm’s length and doesn’t see spending time on a relationship with the CHRO as a top priority amidst other competing priorities. 
• The “interaction gap” and the resultant “information gap” between the CEO and the Chair/CHRO can allow unhelpful narratives to emerge in the rest of the organisation, leading to the creation of alternative realities and an erosion of trust. 
• Over time, the CEO may be deemed a non-performer or have a difficult or derailing personality that makes everyone (including the Chair and CEO) maintain their distance. 
• The CHRO in particular may decide to minimise interaction/disassociate themselves in anticipation of problems ahead, resulting in a widening of the “gap” and rapid deterioration in confidence levels. 

The risks of inaction in this scenario would be: 

• Gaps in communication and understanding can start to appear as the CEO starts to feel undermined by the apparent closeness of the Chair-CHRO relationship.
• As the CHRO starts to feel the CEO becoming ever more distant and mentions this to the Chair, the Chair starts to think the CEO is losing the confidence of the CHRO.
• The Chair and the CEO find it difficult, if not impossible (by this time) to have a frank, open and honest discussion.  Likewise, the CEO may also feel the same.
• Things start to get ugly and eventually, the CEO resigns, or the CEO tries to fire the CHRO and runs into a brick wall (the Chair).
• In the end, everyone loses, including the company.
• Trust is eroded in the Board and in the company. It’s an unholy mess!
  

Opportunities for growth and mutual benefit

• The Chair and the CHRO need to work hard at the CEO relationship.
• Between them, they should try to discover ways to set the CEO up for success (perhaps through coaching or safe-space feedback).
• The Chair could take a more active role especially in the early days of the CEO’s tenure to help to “prep” the CEO in advance of Board meetings.
• The CHRO can provide back-up to the CEO by ensuring that they help by being the eyes and ears of the organisation. They should ensure that the CEO is appraised of what’s going on – and to share good news as well as bad!
• At the same time, the Chair and the CHRO have a duty of responsibility to reflect on how they interpret given situations and how they behave in front (and behind the back) of the CEO – all to ensure it is not they who are the problem! 

So what would a good trio look like?

Imagine a world where healthy and constructive relationships were enjoyed by the Chair, the CEO and the CHRO. Issues would be openly discussed, difficult conversations would not be avoided, strong opinions could be aired – and all while holding and maintaining healthy relationships.  Roles would be respected, and clear boundaries would have been established. 

Scenarios leading to the creation of a strong and high-performing trio might include:

• Coming through an existential crisis for the organisation successfully – an experience requiring close and regular interactions.
• Other non-existential crises requiring a coordinated response (adverse media coverage, a senior leader has misspoken, a major accident or environmental issue has needed to be managed successfully).
• The members of this trio are seasoned leaders who all appreciate the need to work from a solid base of having healthy relationships with important roles.  They “walk the talk” around the significant leadership development work their careers have embraced.  

Inherent risks may include: 

• Relationships becoming too close or familiar: over-stepping professional boundaries.
• Straying from their roles and unwittingly influencing decisions in an unhelpful way.
• Behaviors may be misinterpreted and lead to mistrust.
• Blaming of the three-member group:  this may arise if things are going badly in the organisation, and the CEO, Chair and CHRO have inadvertently formed an exclusive club.  Others outside the trio may feel powerless to influence events or feed into decisions, which in turn destroys trust.  
• Familiarity can breed contempt!

Opportunities for growth and mutual benefit:

• Visit and revisit the conversation about how you all want to work together (as we addressed in principle in a previous article).
• Implement good practice around checking in with each other (about how everyone is and how well the trio members are working with each other).  
• Do not assume everything between the trio members is “always good”.  
• Leverage on each other’s strengths to minimise duplication of effort.
• Maximise the benefit afforded by role-based skills.
• Learn to have each other’s back.  Talk about what this might mean or look like for everyone.  
• Be consistent on internal and external messaging. Do not assume.  Check-in with the others if in doubt.  
• Ensure inclusivity. For example, if two of the trio members have a longer history working together or have been in the company for a long time, there is a need to be aware of this history. The two long timers need to ensure that the last one to join the trio is truly included and not unintentionally left out.
• Really “walk the talk” and borrow good practices from solid leadership development programs – such as giving timely and relevant feedback, taking time to reflect and being aware of one’s own emotions and responses. 
• We all know that trust takes time to develop but can be lost in an instant!

Going deeper into the Chair-CEO-CHRO relationship

While relationships may be perceived by group members as being close, there are always going to be nuances around these perceptions.  A good way to take a closer look is to reflect on what is given and what is received in each relationship.  

If we take the view of the CHRO as an example (see Figure 4), he may reflect the nature of his relationship with the Chair in the following manner:  “I give the Chair a lot, as I am always ready to respond to her and do so in a timely manner.  I also try to anticipate what I think she needs and furnish her with lots of information.  I am appreciative of the Chair as she gives me lots of opportunity to interact with the Board.  She also gives me warning before any critical issues – where she wants my input – are discussed at the Board.”  

In Figure 4, the line is slightly thicker for the arrow pointing to the Chair (indicating that the CHRO thinks he gives more than he receives).  The pattern is similar for the CEO but for perhaps different reasons, given that the nature of that relationship is different.  

Now, if we take the view of the Chair and reflect on the nature of her relationship with the CHRO, the following may be said: “Never before have I given a CHRO so much opportunity to interact and build relationships with the Board.  I personally have spent more time with this CHRO than I have in any other Chair post I have held.  As such, I really would like to hear more frank and courageous opinions.  I would also like to see him taking more initiative around key issues, strategic thinking and about how people are impacted given economic trends facing the business.  I’d love for him to be more candid as well as hold a stronger business view.”  Looking at the figure above on the right, you will see a thicker “give” line and a thinner “receive” line. 

You will note that from the CEO’s perspective (see Figure 5) that the thickness of the lines – give and receive – are similar, though not as thick as the other lines.  This differs, in turn, to the perspective of the CHRO.  So, differences can abound. The task in hand therefore is how to gain more clarity, so that expectations and outcomes are better matched.

When seeking to improve these relationships, it is critical to ask “what does the other person (in their role) need from me (in my role)? It is also good to have a conversation about how best to work together and to find ways to check-in about this – especially when faced with turbulence caused by adverse workplace conditions.  

Improving the Chair-CEO-CHRO relationship. How best to start?

Start by asking yourself: 

• “So…what’s happening for me?” then
• “So…what’s happening for the other person?” and finally
• “So…what’s happening for us all?”  

Using a tool like the Reflective Relational Matrix (RRM)^© (see Table 1) can help frame your analysis, guide the process of self-reflection and action-taking, and/or create a common focus for the Chair-CEO-CHRO to discuss how they want to work together (see Table 2).  

As you may appreciate, one would adapt this matrix for the person using it.  Depending on whether you are working with a coach or not, you can also find other questions that may be helpful, for example:

• As Chair, what’s working well for me? What scope is there to improve?
• As CEO, what strengths am I bringing to the role? What could I dial-up? Dial down?
• As CHRO, am I operating exclusively in my comfort zone? Should I deliberately seek a “zone of disequilibrium” where there is more stretch and challenge?

We recognise that the trio – Chair-CEO-CHRO – operates in widely differing workplace contexts and that the contexts themselves will drive what can and cannot happen. Further richness and texture comes into play given that every individual is unique. That said, we believe that there are some core, foundational actions and behaviours that can be usefully deployed by the trio, whatever the organisational context and personalities involved.  

Our hope for the trio – at a bare minimum – is that they might work supportively and assiduously to build shared purpose, achieve clarity, create momentum and above all, develop trust. They should champion shared values such as integrity and compassion – and take time to circle back to these on a regular basis to ensure that organisationally, everything is on track. If the trios can achieve this, we feel we can refresh and reframe the saying “two’s company, three’s a crowd” for good. 

The time for SuperTrios has arrived. Let’s embrace it!

References:

1. Menon, R. (2018), “Management guru Ram Charan says companies need to invest in people, not numbers”, The Economic Times, April 2018.
2. Magsig, M & McGrath, J (2019), “Why Now Is the Time to Have a CHRO on Your Board”, White Paper, DHR International, April 2019.
3. Groysberg, B., Lee, J., Price J., & Yo-Jud Cheng, J. (2018), “The Leader’s Guide to Corporate Culture: How to Manage the Eight Critical Elements of Organizational Life”, HBR, Jan–Feb 2018.
4. Harrington, S. (2019), “Finally, an area of CHRO, CEO and Board alignment: Culture”, ThePeopleSpace, 12 June 2019.

Is your CHRO a hidden-in-plain-sight resource for the CEO?

By Michael Jenkins and Dr Robyn Wilson

Introduction

Is your CHRO hidden in plain sight?

Against the backdrop of organisations struggling to deal with ongoing virus-initiated turbulence, could one of the effects of COVID-19 be to throw the role of the CHRO into sharp relief? In the way that the role of the CFO was placed centre-stage during the financial meltdown years of 2008-2009, could it be that the time has come for CHROs to take a more obvious lead in supporting and sustaining employees during this demanding and testing period? As a potentially critical resource for CEOs – are CHROs “hidden in plain sight”?

Hidden in plain sight 

Why might CHROs be “hidden in plain sight”? For years – and certainly well before COVID-19 – there has been a huge debate (still ongoing) – and many pages written by experts around the world – about the need to strengthen the capability of CHROs. Alongside this is a related – and always unfailingly lively – discussion about the CHRO as a fully paid-up member of the Executive team. Should CHROs have a seat at the strategic top table? And on top of this come questions around the CHRO contribution to the life and times of the Board. 

But not as much has been written, specifically, about the quality or nature of the CHRO’s relationship with the CEO, and still less about their relationship with the Chair. 

In our previous article in People Matters: The Chair-CEO Relationship – Time to Dial Things Up? – we shared how critical the Chair-CEO relationship is and how it can have a significant impact – both positively and negatively – on the success of the organisation.  And so in this article we will explore the role of the CHRO as it relates to the CEO and how it might develop in the years to come, post-COVID-19. We will discuss how the current period of turbulence could potentially offer up a silver lining for CHROs: it might just give them an opportunity to accelerate their development and enable them to strengthen the role and the credibility and importance of the role – if they are prepared to step up. And of course if their CEOs are prepared to support them.

Questions for us include: to what degree has the CEO got the back of the CHRO? Is there a time when the CEO steps aside and allows the CHRO to lead? Does the CEO actively give prominence to the importance of the role of the CHRO? How much more could CEOs do to spotlight the amazing work done by the best of the CHROs? And what more could be done to attract top talent into the profession – to make it truly special?

The Rise (or not) of the CHRO

Let us reflect for a moment on the CHRO role itself.  As we have already noted, the debate about what level the role should occupy in the organisation – has raged on unabated.  Questions include: where should this role be placed organisationally, and in recent years, as CEOs and Boards find themselves faced with many challenging and growing – “people related issues” – the questions: “Should CHROs have a voice at the Board?” come up again and again. We believe that such problems (people-oriented issues, ironically) are not helped – and in some cases, can be exacerbated – by a lack of background expertise to handle these issues appropriately (at both Executive Team and Board levels). If this is the case, from where then is this expertise supposed to come? It seems to us that the starting point has to be the fundamental capability of the CHRO to do the job and play the role.

The CHRO Global Leadership Board (CGLB), with support from a research team at CEB, now Gartner, produced a white paper in 2018 which outlined what they believe defines a world class CHRO and in so doing, created a model which we reproduce below.  By their own admission, this work is aspirational. They hoped it would bring clarity around what the role “should be” or “could be” as CEOs and Boards navigate disruptive markets and labour force trends, while also ensuring business growth. They also hoped it would guide the development of future CHROs.  

What is interesting to note about this model is just how all-encompassing it is. The model articulates the five roles CGLB believes form part of the CHRO role and these all rest on the need for broader base business skills as well as management of their function.  While being a useful model to flesh out various aspects of the CHRO role or “potential role”, one has to ask, just how many CHROs in the world would live up to this model’s definition of a CHRO?   

In attempting to answer that very question: Just how many CHROs in the world would live up to this model’s definition of a CHRO? – it may be useful to provide a ready-reckoner of the defining moments in the work life of the CHRO. If the CHRO isn’t able to handle the majority of these events and issues, the question then becomes: how can we enable them to do so? And what help could the CEO be providing?

Defining Moments for CHROs 

There are a range of defining moments that are critical for any CHRO incumbent (as defined by the CGLB’s white paper):

• Managing a CEO Transition
• Managing Executives Through a Sensitive/Crisis Situation
• Leading Independent Board Interactions (Engaging board members in meetings and individual interactions on sensitive issues that require navigating tensions between the CEO and Board (i.e. CEO performance conversations)
• Driving Executive Decision Making Around a Key Trend Affecting the Enterprise
• Delivering Capabilities for a Business Transformation or New Business Acquisition
• Designing a Strategy to Enable an Organisation to Implement the Right Structure for Future Business Needs
• Leading a Bold Experiment
• Implementing a Large-Scale Change to Compensation or Benefits
• Crafting a New Mission/ Vision/Values
• Leading a Cultural Transformation
• Managing Impact of Digitalization on Culture
• Engaging Executives in Critical Dialogue on Leadership Needs
• Courageously Advocating a Contrarian Position With the CEO

Taking a closer look at this smorgasbord of tasks and initiatives, we find that there can be more to many of these defining moments than meets the eye.  In Don Ciampa’s HBR article “After the Handshake, Succession doesn’t end when a new CEO is hired” (Dec. 2016), he suggests that “the outgoing CEO, CHRO, and the Board should all have roles in helping the newcomer navigate company culture and politics.”  This is over and above the role they all have in the hiring process.  

“The new CEO will find it easy to obtain strategic, operational, and financial data while getting up to speed, but will need someone to explain other executives’ personal backstories and interrelationships and why and how some of the company’s more idiosyncratic practices evolved. Ideally, a CHRO can also offer candid feedback on how the new leader’s early words and actions are perceived in the organization.”

 Ciampa goes on to say: 

“When a large retail company recruited an outsider to succeed the CEO, the company’s CHRO called him the next day and explained that although they’d spent time together during the search process, he wanted a meeting to discuss an onboarding plan and the company’s political structure. The CHRO travelled to the new CEO’s distant city, and they spent hours talking about the challenges of transition. The new leader found it invaluable.”

As you cast your eye across those defining moments for a CHRO, it is not hard to realise that one would need to work closely with the CEO (and other CXOs) as well as the Board, including the Chair.  This is one reason why many call for the CHRO to be on the Board – a call that has been out for decades now. And yet there has been little movement in this area.  What has changed during these decades though, are the growing complexities around people issues that organisations face. So why has the call yet to be taken up? 

Being on the Board, rather than just presenting to the Board every so often, would be helpful for many reasons.  While being able to make compelling, timely and useful presentations to the Board is one important capability for a CHRO, being present as the Board considers, if not struggles with, “people-related issues” would seem sensible in many ways.  However, this is all easier said than done. Why should this be? 

Let’s take a look at how things play out in organisations.

How things play out in organisations 

Imagine, you have just started your new job as a CHRO for one of the most progressive “start-ups” in the world – one whose name is now becoming part of our day to day language like hoovering and xeroxing did in their day.  Two weeks after your commencement day, a former employee publishes a blog about their working experience in this same company.  It’s February 2017, and yes, the company is Uber.  As you all know, extreme turmoil was unleashed within the company and in many ways they are not totally through it all.  

Immediately, Liane Hornsey, the new CHRO, had to tackle a huge number of difficult and complex issues on many fronts all at once.  There were multiple investigations to oversee.  She served on the 14-person interim leadership team that ran the company after the former CEO was ousted.  And then there was the organisational culture to tackle! 

The story was different for SVP and CHRO, Carol Surface, at medical device company Medtronic whose operational headquarters are in Minneapolis.  She started at the company in 2013, a few years after the start of then Chairman and Chief Executive Officer, Omar Ishrak.  Initial focus was around succession planning for key roles, but quickly changed to manage the acquisition of Covidien, which basically doubled the size of Medtronic.  Both Carol and Omar have said that an acquisition of that size is the utlimate test of the CEO-CHRO relationship, and that the strength of their relationship was critical for success. In Omar’s own words: 

“While we didn’t abandon talent and succession planning, we made an immediate pivot to assess our organisational design, to ensure it fulfilled and aligned to our overall business strategy and supported the upcoming integration. At the same time, Carol’s focus shifted to that of enterprise change leader, driver of culture and purpose, and HR functional expert during a lengthy period of acquisition planning and integration.”

Over subsequent years of working together, they have travelled through different seasons, as their focus adapted to the business needs of the company.  Carol Surface plays an active role, along with her executive peers, in driving business results, which is something looked for and expected by the CEO.  Positioned as the board’s leader of human capital, this CHRO also had to support the transition of Omar Ishrak to Executive Chairman while bringing in a new CEO.  

Carol Surface and Omar Ishrak were involved in the development of the CGLB’s Model of a World-Class CHRO.  It was important to them as they believed the aspiration and clarity around the CHRO role needed a lot more attention than it was used to; it is much easier to articulate the role of the CFO or COO, for instance.  

The trust Omar and Carol had between them allowed them to expect a great deal from each other, which in turn resulted in them giving a lot and really delivering for the business. 

So in reality…. where are the CHROs (in the organisation)? How can they connect with the Board?

As we look at the organisations that surround us, more often than not, we find the equivalent to the CHRO organisationally in two places.  They either report to the CEO or they are structurally under the COO or equivalent, given HR is frequently deemed a “service”. This means that they have a job to do if they are to reach or connect with the Board. It is going to require effort.

For their part, Boards are normally filled with former CEOs and the predominant background of directors is usually finance or law.  Depending on the nature of the organisation, there may be some domain experts on the Board.  So traditionally, directors tend not to have deep experience or a background in the “people side” of the business. A less-than-ideal situation can be made worse on the Executive side (where one might look for “people-oriented inputs”) by some CEOs who, lacking a strong financial component to their own professional skillset, will often bring in a strong CFO, but seldom be self-aware enough to recognise that they might lack a strong “people” aspect to their repertoire as well. This means a CEO is highly unlikely to bring in a strong CHRO to compensate for his or her lack of skill on the human side. It isn’t something that will come automatically into a CEO’s calculus for strengthening the company’s chances of success. Few CEOs will ever admit that they might need help in that area i.e. working with human beings – with the result that for some CEOS, even considering CHROs as a resource to do just that – doesn’t get any headspace time at all. And this state of play, or attitude, is further strengthened by the lingering impression held by some that CHROs are first and foremost the custodians of rules and regulations and that if they happen to be compassionate and empathic – well then, that’s a bonus. All these elements conspire to make it really challenging for CHROs to be able to change attitudes and alter the status quo. 

So how might these challenges be addressed? Could redefining the nature of their human relationship with the CEO be one way of improving matters? Could this be one way of ensuring that CHROs don’t remain “hidden in plain sight”, as far as CEOs are concerned? Given that CHROs on Boards are thin on the ground (see quotation below) – perhaps it does fall to the CEO to champion the CHRO. 

“According to DHR’s own research, only twenty-eight active CHROs are currently serving on the boards of Fortune 1000 companies.”  (Magsig & McGrath (2019), “Why Now Is the Time to Have a CHRO on Your Board”, DHR white paper)

So for the CEO to champion the CHRO, the relationship needs to be strong and trusting. The CEO also needs a strong bond with the Chair. Anecdotally, we hear of situations where CHROs, tasked with taking responsibility around organisation culture and values, find it difficult, if not impossible, to lift the conversation to the Board level – precisely because awkward or flinty dynamics exist around the Chair/CEO relationship. The bridge just isn’t there.  

So, what capabilities and mindsets are needed today – and tomorrow?   

Potential CHROs come to the position in many different ways.  Some rise through the HR function.  Some come from outside the HR function.  We have read figures that indicate that in the top MNCs in the world, around 25-30% CHROs enter that role from outside the HR function.  There is also much discussion around the value of HR leaders, as well as business leaders, spending time holding positions in and outside HR.  While it is also desirable that business leaders have a good grip on HR issues, it is important that potential CHROs find ways to get deeper experience in the business generally. The existence of the HRBP (HR Business Partner) has certainly helped in this regard although we think there is still scope for the CHRO to deepen his knowledge of the business or the activities of the organisation.   

Reflections for CHROs and ways to build capabilities. What’s next for the CHRO? And how can the CEO help?

If you are a CHRO reading this, here are some ways in which we believe you – as an individual – can actively strengthen your capabilities:

• Ask yourself: How widely do you read?
• Read about business.  Read about trends.  Read about topics that – in your mind – may not even be directly relevant to your work. 
• Be curious.  Find “peers” and friends who also can talk about what you have read and what they have read.  Debate.  Explore new thinking.  
• Task yourself to seek out evidenced-based arguments (by studying evidence-based HR research and practice).
• Strive for intellectual humility: give space to others to express their thoughts and encourage them to share.
• While developing your capacity for empathy is a great thing to do, focus more on developing your capacity for compassion. It’s an active attribute and requires you to actually do something to alleviate someone’s distress or difficulties. Empathy is a critical skill – which can be developed – but for a world-class CHRO we believe that developing compassionate leadership skills is even more important. 

And specifically around CHRO-Board interaction, we feel that the research work of Professor Patrick Wright from Darla Moore School of Business, University of South Carolina is useful here.  He has been researching the changing nature of the CHRO role for over a decade – at a time when he was noticing an increase in exposure of the CHROs (from top companies) to Boards.   Given the increasing complexity and public scrutiny around issues like CEO pay, succession, and the impact of culture, Boards are increasingly seeking the views of CHROs, inviting them into discussion more and more.  For Professor Wright, however, there are some specific CHRO characteristics that seem critically important, in the eyes of the Board – and those are:

• Credibility
• Honesty and 
• Independence.  

If you are a CEO reading this, you can take an active role in supporting the development of your CHRO, through coaching and feedback – and actively help with the elevation of the CHRO role itself, through advocacy and “sharing the limelight”: 

• Encourage the CHRO to think about the career journey ahead and actively help the CHRO to seek out different experiences – and even roles.  
• Suggest a move out of HR for a time.  
• Help the CHRO to find an opportunity to serve on a Board, perhaps starting with a charity you both support.  This will help the CHRO to watch and learn and engage.  
• Challenge the CHRO to learn how to hold a point of view and how to present it in the face of opposition, while also listening carefully to those with counter views. 
• Assist the CHRO to find people in various networks, including your own, that can stretch the CHRO’s thinking and provide challenge.  Such people in the network(s) most probably are operating at a higher level than the CHRO and there will be lots to learn from them.  Should the CHRO manage to establish mutual respect, they may even sponsor him or her into a new role one day.  
• Challenge your CHRO to set aside any tendency to be judgmental. CHROs often have to be the custodians of organisational rules, processes, and procedures. Balancing conflicting moral issues is never going to be easy – but a top CHRO needs to try to get this right as often as they can. As a CEO you can help them to do this.
• Last but not least: trust. The CHRO has to develop trust across the organisation and that means developing a trusting environment and gaining the trust of others. In our experience, a Board that does not trust the CHRO of the organisation will (metaphorically) simply cast them aside. As the CEO you can help with this too. 
• Never forget: a CEO who does not trust and/or rate her CHRO – will miss out hugely: your own leadership will be greatly compromised by this dysfunctional relationship and the organisation overall will suffer. 
• Don’t let your CHRO be a critical resource hidden in plain sight. Invite the CHRO to join you in all sorts of discussions with people inside and outside the organisation – if appropriate of course. You won’t regret it.

Conclusion

Contrary to popular belief, COVID-19 was not a Black Swan event*. It was something that we – governments, countries, people – knew could happen: a global pandemic with the potential to kill many. Such events have happened before and will happen again.

The key thing is to be ready.

So, albeit on a different scale, perhaps the greatest contribution a CHRO can make to an organisation is to be able to support the CEO and the Board in getting ready for the unexpected – and then working closely together to meet – and overcome – those challenges wrought by an “unexpected turn of events”. 

The CHRO is unlikely to be able to solve all problems by himself – which is why he and the CEO would do well to be “joined at the hip”: if he has built trust and respect in the organisation, we believe he will have done the best thing possible to lay the foundations for personal and organisational success and fulfilment.

Is your CHRO hidden in plain sight?

*A Black Swan event is an unpredictable, catastrophic event.

The Chair-CEO Relationship: Time to dial things up?

By Michael Jenkins and Dr Robyn Wilson 

Introduction – Chair-CEO Relationship

Our world has been turned upside down in a way that no one, even in early 2020, could ever have imagined. The ruptures COVID-19 continues to cause has obliged every one of us to rethink the way we behave and the way we do things. Everything is up for grabs and if ever there was a silver lining to something as devastating as the ongoing pandemic, then the opportunity to question and scrutinise “the way we do things round here” is something immediate that we can grasp and run with. There is no better time than now to re-evaluate and re-calibrate. 

In this article we wanted to put something that is critical to the success of the organisation under close scrutiny and ask:

Are we doing as well as we could be?

Is there something more that can and should be done?

That something is the Chair-CEO relationship. 

The first thing to recognise and call out is that the very nature and sensitivity of the Chair-CEO relationship can often mitigate against an honest, human evaluation of what works and what doesn’t. So for instance, getting a Chair or a CEO to admit that their relationship with the other is not working well – and to be willing to address the underlying issues – is something that we do not see very often even under “normal circumstances”.   And while CEOs and their performance are habitually evaluated by Boards, it is comparatively rare to see the reverse happening (with the notable exception of evaluation by the markets, which are often quick and brutal in their assessment of whether the Chair and CEO are competent or not). Why is it so important for Boards and Chairs to allow their own performance to be scrutinised? It is not just because of the necessity to provide and to prove strong governance. It is equally important, in our opinion, to ensure that the Board is the right kind of Board – for example – to steer a given organisation through choppy waters.  But first things first: are the right Chair and CEO on board?

Alignment and shared purpose 

Few would disagree with the notion that the Chair-CEO relationship is of paramount importance to organisations, whether public, private, or not-for-profit – as the pair seek to achieve their shared objectives. Where the relationship can come spectacularly unstuck is when there is a lack of alignment on what those objectives actually are. In the news recently, the man who was effectively the chief scientist of the European Union, the now former head of the European Research Council (ERC), the Italian-American Mauro Ferraro, resigned in dramatic fashion, attacking the European Union’s scientific governance and political institutions even as the Research Council itself said that his resignation came after a unanimous 19 member country vote of no-confidence in his leadership. Observers concluded that Ferraro’s personal take on what should be done to lead Europe’s scientific response to COVID-19 collided with the differing views of the member nations and the shared view of his stakeholders that there is a way and a protocol for getting things done. Ferraro’s approach was incompatible with those practices.

Another recent example of a cataclysmic clash between CEO and Board happened in Japan. The automaker Nissan was the backdrop to a dramatic falling out between CEO Carlos Ghosn and his Board, resulting in the arrest of Ghosn amidst accusations of illegal corporate behaviour, followed by Ghosn’s flight from Japan to one of his home bases, Lebanon. The reasons for Ghosn’s downfall are many – but again, it seems that the direction of the CEO and the preferences of the Board and Chair were completely out of sync: on the one hand Ghosn was pushing for more integration between Nissan, Renault and other players, while the Board, supported as we now know by members of Ghosn’s executive team, wanted to move the company in a completely different direction. It may be years before the facts of the matter become completely clear, a situation not helped by the fact that a court case to decide the issues seems a distant possibility and the whole affair is – for the time being – somewhat eclipsed by the events in Japan caused by COVID-19. 

Yet another example from the recent past: the flamboyant and charismatic Camilla Batmanghelidjh, the Iranian-born Chief Executive of the UK children’s charity Kids Company, was forced to resign in 2015 following allegations of mismanagement and squandering funds – funds which in large part came from the UK government (with Prime Minister David Cameron one of Batmanghelidjh’s biggest fans). The charity had got to the point where civil servants had started to question whether it offered value for money – and decided that any further funding would require the CEO to stand down. Batmanghelidjh was – and is – undoubtedly an extremely talented individual with a drive to help the poorest and neediest of Britain’s children and she was at the helm before and during the crisis at the charity – but a bigger question remains, where was the Board in all of this, and what exactly was the Chair’s role? 

And another interesting question also arises. In the examples we have used, there is no mention of the CHROs or any roles they might have played. If the Chairs in each case were ineffective or invisible, or both – who might have provided the CEOs with what could have been invaluable feedback on their behaviour or practices? We will be examining the role of the CHRO in respect of the CEO and Chair in our next article in this series.

But for now, yet another related question: what structures existed, in the examples cited above, to ensure that Boards and their Chairs did their jobs properly? It seems that often circumstances have to reach boiling point before anything shifts.

And by then it is usually too late.

The impact of a poor Chair-CEO relationship

When reading about the failures of the Chair-CEO relationship, we should be under no illusion that these failures cause major impacts that seep right through the business.  So, as we dig further into what has been written around these relationships, a potential gap in thinking between the Chair and CEO begins to show itself:

• Are the Chair and CEO wanting the same thing for the organisation or is there a lack of shared understanding? 
• Does the Chair orchestrate the Board well enough to ensure that the CEO is supported in her plans – and for her part, does the CEO solicit views from each Board member in a way that helps get everyone moving in the same direction?
• How “human” is the relationship between the Chair and the CEO?
• What part does legacy play in the complex Chair-CEO relationship? Is there an inherent tension between scoring short term successes (the CEO) and the longer-term expectations of “leaving one’s mark” (the Chair)? How can these things be reconciled? 

Our view is that there is a golden thread, a common denominator that, if done right and well, will enable both Chair and CEO to reach their objectives. That critical element is trust and the trust itself is the product of a genuine, human relationship between the Chair and the CEO, built on mutual respect.

Acting to fix relationship troubles – but watch the how!

We would like to believe that no one would dispute the need to review the performances of CEOs and Chairs. Where it can get messy is around the how. Good practice with respect to these activities should be established early on in the relationship and made transparent.  Something for the CHRO to help out with, perhaps? 

Only too often CEOs (mostly) are appraised when there is a perception on the part of the Chair (mostly) that things are not as the Chair wishes them to be.  Action must be taken and again, only too often, indirect “processes” are set in motion (and it has to be said that it is much harder for the CEO to initiate such action).  

This was the case in Australia when the relationship between the Chair of the Australia Broadcasting Commission (ABC) and CEO soured, with resulting headlines like “Michelle Guthrie, Justin Milne fight forced ABC board into a tough choice” (Financial Review, 14th November 2018). In the lead up to this point in time, the Chair believed that, amongst other things, the CEO had lost the confidence of the staff, so a consultant was called in to administer a 360 assessment (where raters, including direct reports, were asked to evaluate the CEO).  

According to reports, the ABC CEO’s scores were low in various categories and she was given an executive coach to support her development plan and to assist her in tackling her action items.  However, it became apparent in a subsequent TV interview that this 360 had ended up being used as an appraisal – rather than as a development opportunity (for which purpose such 360 assessments are designed). At some point, another member of the Board, who was a coach, was part of these discussions.   

We are of the opinion that a 360-survey used correctly can be an effective tool for development: such surveys need accredited expert coaches to debrief them and the conversations which are part of the process, should be carried out in a safe environment.  However, to turn around and potentially use the results of a developmental tool as a reason to initiate the removal (often sudden) of a CEO is poor form, especially if there is no opportunity for dialogue.  We are left wondering how many honest conversations were avoided.  

Time to Reflect?

If you are a Chair or a CEO reading this, what things do you need to check now – in service of developing the relationship for the better and for the success of the organisation?

For Chairs

• How often do you meet your CEO? How do you connect and check in?
• What role do you play on the Board? Do you dominate or do you orchestrate?
• Are you past your sell-by date? Might it be time to step aside and let someone else take up the role?
• Do you actively help the CEO to navigate the complexity of stakeholder relationships? 
• Do you enjoy the kind of honest and straightforward relationship with your CEO that allows you to challenge and support in equal measure? 
• Have you and your CEO made your respective boundaries clear to each other?

For CEOs

• How often do you meet your Chair? How do you connect and check in?
• What relationships do you have with other Board members? Do you know how to involve them without making your Chair feel blindsided? 
• Are you past your sell-by date? Might it be time to step aside and let someone else take up the role?
• Do you work with the Chair to get under the skin of the complexity of stakeholder relationships or are you passive, leaving things to chance? 
• Do you enjoy the kind of honest and straightforward relationship with your Chair that allows you to push back when you need to and “speak truth to power”?
• Have you and your Chair made your respective boundaries clear to each other?

If the answer to any of the above is: “I don’t really know”; or “I’m not sure”; or simply “No” – then our advice is that you need to start paying attention now. No need to press the panic button (yet) but for sure, you need to act quickly to ensure your relationship doesn’t end up being built on foundations of sand. 

Further questions that arise

So, who should step in should the Chair-CEO relationship be in trouble? 

The first thing to recognise is that each situation will be different for a variety of reasons.  No two cases will the same due to the personalities and context involved.  That said, we have the following observations to make:

–    In some situations, other directors on the Board may step in, or even the CFO, CHRO or a similarly senior person – depending on the quality of their relationship with the individuals and even their personal sense of safety (for their career).  

–    In other situations, the Chair and/or CEO may be self-aware enough to reach out for help to a trusted colleague, friend or even a coach.  These people could help them think through the situation and explore options.  

However, finding the support they may need could be a more sensitive exercise than is immediately apparent.  The confidant would need to be carefully chosen to ensure confidentiality for personal, organisational, and even commercial reasons (the media love a good gossip story and shareholders then get worried about their shareholding, for example).  It may also not be appropriate for the CEO to talk with anyone on their Executive Team for similar reasons – nor may it be wise.  

Another question worth asking would be – what would acting early look like?  One key item would be for the Chair and CEO to book regular check-in times from the beginning of their relationship and honour them, using these get-togethers to talk about how they are working together – and not to use the time exclusively to cover numbers, pipeline, payroll, and other business related topics.  The time together would be protected and focused.  The sessions would not need to be long: it is more important that they should happen regularly.  

What are some good practices that should be in place to help to support the Chair-CEO relationship?   

Building on what has been discussed so far, it may be that the Chair-CEO check-in be characterised as a formal requirement – in that it is reported that it occurs. Tools – consisting of good questions designed for this kind of conversation – could also be made available.  

More formally, there should be clearly articulated and transparent processes that ensure both performance evaluations and development opportunities take place for both the Chair and the CEO (and that these are distinctly different and used for different reasons).  Care needs to be taken to ensure that KPIs are understood and shared, and not just assumed – and that they do not simply revolve around keeping the company afloat and/or making money.  The objectives for which the CEO is held accountable often benefit from being “filled out” and enriched, so as to ensure there is a set of qualitative as well as quantitative shared/agreed objectives. Chairs and directors, when conducting the appraisal of the CEO, also need to bear in mind that they are dealing with a human being.

What about the performance of the Chair you may ask? Ideally, the Chair should ensure that a performance review of the Board – with an external partner – is conducted every 3 or 4 years.  At the very least, the Board needs to ascertain, on a regular basis, what it needs to start, stop, or continue.   Such a review could be extended to include Board members providing feedback to each other.  By definition, the Chair’s performance would also be subject to review.  

What would a “personal contract” between the Chair and CEO look like – and what would be the best way to put it into place?

 Typically, a coach or trusted colleague (trusted by both parties) could facilitate this process.  Firstly, it would involve having both the Chair and CEO respond to a set of questions and requests (like “For me to do my job well, I would need x from you” or “When I need support, here’s what works and does not work for me”).  Next, the coach would facilitate a deliberate discussion around how both parties can make things work.  The result of this discussion would then form the “personal contract” between them.  And it is good practice to return to this “contract” from time to time to check that it is still fit for purpose.    

Conclusion on the Chair-CEO relationship

In closing we would like to share some wisdom from our colleague Glenda Eoyang, founder of the Human Systems Dynamics Institute which we feel would be an ideal modus operandi/vivendi for Chairs and CEOs to behave together.  She proposes we should advocate for the following:

• Turn judgment into curiosity
• Turn conflict into shared exploration
• Turn defensiveness into self-reflection and
• Turn assumptions into questions

In this COVID-19 world in which we currently live, we have seen very quick change around various aspects of our organisations and work life.  We have talked about remote working for years, and yet suddenly, we are all doing it now and learning quickly. Change is most definitely in the air.  

So, what about the Chair-CEO relationship?  Greater scrutiny and deeper insights into the relationship are needed; relationships need to be less transactional and more human(e); trust and resilience need to be developed; blame and ego need to be set aside once and for all.

It’s time to dial things up!

7 things to do instead of making New Year’s resolutions

This is NOT a “Let’s Make Our New Year’s Resolution” Blog

“Depending on where you get your numbers, somewhere between 81 percent and 92 percent of New Year’s Resolutions fail.” ¹. (Clear, James) 

They don’t work.  We stay with them for a few days … or a few weeks if we are lucky.  They are usually ill conceptualised, and vague at best.  And everyone writes about how best to set them, give you their best 10 tips or use this time of year to sell their goods and services while managing – somehow – to weave them into their advice about New Year resolutions.  

Well, isn’t that what I’m about to do? You might ask.  Yes and no.   

Yes, it’s about being intentional if seeking to make some change in your life/career.

No, it’s not specifically about New Year resolutions.

And no, I’m not selling my wares but giving a shout out to others who have my respect.

Chasing aspirations

I’ve collected some wisdom from last year, insights that have helped nudge me as I’ve sought to make some changes in my life/career.  So, this blog is not about New Year resolutions per se, it’s about the change in the life you seek.  You can do any of these things at any time during the year.  

In essence, setting resolutions is not about setting tasks to be completed, but it is about becoming who you wish to be, and this includes understanding and being led by your values, having the right mindset, finding guiding principles and understanding your own aspirations (and not those suggested by others or society).

Here is my list of wisdom.

7 things to do instead of making New Year’s resolutions

1. James Clear: Habit Changing

James Clear is the author of “Atomic Habits” and the popular 3-2-1 newsletter (with over 1 million readers).  In his 1st January 2021 3-2-1 newsletter, he shared some thoughts from his book:

“Improvements are only temporary until they become part of who you are.The goal is not to read a book, the goal is to become a reader.

The goal is not to run a marathon, the goal is to become a runner.

The goal is not to learn an instrument, the goal is to become a musician. 

This year, focus on the identity you want to build.”

He also has written a fabulous blog “5 Common Mistakes That Cause New Habits to Fail” with practical insights he has gained from two years worth of researching and writing about the science of behaviour change.  It is worth a read.

2. Liz and Mollie; Drop the “Should”

“Liz and Mollie” aka Liz Fosslien and Mollie West Duffy are the authors of “No Hard Feelings: The secret Power of Embracing emotions at Work”, a wonderful book that explores how we best embrace our emotions in the workplace and as we seek to become more authentic as leaders and professionals. 

They have a great Instagram account that is worth following, and posted the following on 8th December 2020:

“Do you ever feel like your “shoulds” control you?  “I should start meditating” or “I should have a cleaner apartment.”  These types of statements are unhealthy: you’re putting yourself down, and not giving yourself any opportunity to improve.  

The next time you catch yourself saying “should,” stop and try: “I want to start meditating.” “I want to have a cleaner apartment.”  If the statement still feels true, try to figure out the first smallest step you can take.  And if it doesn’t, drop it, and move on with things you actually want to invest in instead.”  

Ref: Instagram: @lizandmollie (8th Dec 2020)

3. Dr. Tasha Eurich: Guiding Values

Tasha Eurich is an organisational psychologist and the author of “Insight: The Power of Self-Awareness in a Self-Deluded World”. She believes that self awareness is the superpower for the 21st Century.  

Self-awareness seems to have become the latest management buzzword — and for good reason. Research suggests that when we see ourselves clearly, we are more confident and more creative. We make sounder decisions, build stronger relationships, and communicate more effectively. We’re less likely to lie, cheat, and steal. We are better workers who get more promotions. And we’re more-effective leaders with more-satisfied employees and more-profitable companies.  (Eurich, Tasha (2018))

In a recent Instagram post, Tasha Eurich wrote the following:

“Values define the kind of person we want to be and how we want to be remembered. For that reason, they are the cornerstone of self-awareness.

As we enter 2021 (WE MADE IT YOU GUYS 🥳🍾🎉), we have an excellent opportunity to think about how our values will shape the year ahead.”

She shared her top two values, and then asks the following:

“What are your key values and how are they shaping your plans for 2021?”

Tasha Eurich has an online course called “The Future Ready Leader” which takes you through many lessons to help you build your self awareness – based on her research.  This is a course I’ve subscribed to and it is proving valuable.  

4. Dr. Jason Fox: One Word- a Contextual Beacon

Dr Jason Fox is “a wizard-philosopher masquerading as a leadership advisor”.  He is a much sought-after speaker (regularly winning awards) and thought leader.  With a research background in motivational design, he brings fresh thinking to the domain of leadership.

“Why do you need a Word?

You don’t, hoho. But if you seek new motivation, meaning and enchantment in your life—if you seek meaningful progress and the realisation of relevance—you may want to find one. Even if you are the super sceptical sort too clever for conventional self development. Perhaps, especially so.”  (Fox, Jason (2019))

As written up by Nickey Champ (2018), Dr Fox suggested the following to the business meeting he was addressing:

““[C]hoose one word to serve as a fuzzy contextual beacon for that if should you wander off track – and you will wander off track – that it will pull you back in line with your intention,” Fox said.

“If I asked you what might your word be for the year ahead, you’ll have a functional word that won’t quite have the sharpness and stickiness yet, but it’s a good starting point.”

….

“I had one person come up to me and say, ‘I think my word is ‘focus’ but I’m not sure’ – and I said, ‘Hmm have a think about that.’ They later came back to me and said, ‘My word is ‘Hunter.’ Hunters need to be able to focus when hunting prey, but they also need to rely on their wit and be aware of their surroundings to be able to survive and adapt.”‘

“So I wonder what your word might be? Think of a ritual that you might want to rekindle or create. Think about some of your self-sabotaging behaviours that you might want to change.””

While, in the above context, it was a meeting at the end of a year, choosing one word is not limited to a ritual conducted at the beginning of year.  You are free to do this at any time – particularly if it’s useful to you and your aspirations.  

Dr. Jason Fox has an online course called “The ‘Choose One Word’ Ritual of Becoming.” I’m very enticed by this and it’s high on my list!

5. Dr. Brené Brown: Fun; Side Benefits Abound – though it’s not the point

Brené Brown is a well known professor, researcher, author, speaker and podcaster.  She shared in one of her recent podcasts (Brown, B (2020)) about rediscovering the concept of fun.  She had written about it in one of her early books, “The Gifts of Imperfection”  

I came across this quote by Stuart Brown. “The opposite of play is not work. The opposite of play is depression.” 

Stuart Brown, MD, is a play researcher.

[Stuart] Brown explains how respecting our biologically programmed need for play can transform us and renew our sense of excitement in life. 

She explains that she totally understands how this concept could be the basis for an anxiety attack for many go-getters and high achievers but as she says, you can’t ignore the research.  It tells us:

“Play – doing things just because they’re fun and not because they’ll help achieve a goal—is vital to human development.” (Brown, B (2014))

Brown believes that play is at the core of creativity and innovation.  And wholehearted adults play!  It can mean “anything that makes us lose track of time and self-consciousness, creating the clearing where ideas are born”.

So, here is Brené Brown’s dare- something that you can respond to at any point in time.  

THE DARE

Create a play list. Write down three activities you could do for hours on end. Mine are reading, editing photos on my computer and playing Ping-Pong with my family.

Now carve out time on your calendar. Even when I’m busiest, I schedule unstructured time. It’s important to protect playtime the way you protect work, church or PTA meetings.

Play well with others. When my husband and kids made their own play lists, we realized that our usual vacations, which involved sightseeing, weren’t really anyone’s idea of play. So now we go places where we can hike, swim and play cards – things that make us all our most silly, creative and free-spirited selves.

(Brown, B (2014))

6. Calvin & Hobbes:  “Let’s Go Exploring!”

I’ll let this wisdom from Calvin & Hobbes speak for itself 🙂

Let’s Explore!  This is a great mindset to have as you never know what you will find.  

Note: check out the backstory.

7. Michael Bungay Stanier: Live brilliantly

And lastly something I am doing… and loving!

Back at the end of July 2020, I discovered this gem.  It’s a free online course designed and curated by Michael Bungay Stanier (aka MBS), author of the “The Coaching Habit” and “The Advice Monster”.  

I embarked on this course, keen to find new thinkers and perspectives, and discovered that it has provided the subtle nudges I’ve needed as I start to pivot and venture into new domains of activity.  And I’m loving it.  The extra surprise that has come with this course is the community and the interaction that happens.  MBS doesn’t ask much of us except to really reflect on the weekly content gems, integrate and reflect every six weeks, write a reflection in the comments and comment on someone’s post.  It’s all very doable – even within a busy life.  The cadence of one a week works like a charm.  

So, the following is from his “The Year of Living Brilliantly”:

He has lined up amazing teachers and it’s beautifully curated.  And did I mention it?  It’s free!

In Summary

While I write this blog in January at the beginning of a new year, we can choose to initiate change in our lives at any point in time.  It is for us to listen for these times, the right time within the seasons of our lives.  

What I have hoped to share with you is some wisdom from leading thinkers about what can guide you when this time for change is with you.  Some of this wisdom includes ways to approach thinking about how to frame your direction setting and accountability nudges (Clear, Eurich, Fox and MBS), adopting the right mindset (Calvin & Hobbes), while also offering some “do not forgets” (lizandmollie, Brown).  

Pick what is right for you.  Explore what is not immediately natural for you.  And lastly, I invite you to share what works, including wisdom from others.   

All the best!

Footnotes

1. There are several studies and articles quoting either a 90 percent or 92 percent failure rate. I’ll go with the 81 percent failure rate, which comes from a research study by psychology professor John Norcross. He tracked the success rate of New Year’s resolutions over a two-year span.

References

Bungay Stanier, Michael (2019), “The Year of Living Brilliantly”, online course (free).

Brown, Brené (2010), “The Gifts of Imperfection : Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are”, Hazelden, Center City, Minnesota

Brown, Brené (2014), “Brené Brown: The Very Best Resolution You Can Make This Year”, O, The Oprah Magazine, January 2014

Brown, Brene (2020), “On My Mind: RBG, Surge Capacity, and Play as an Energy Source”, Unlocking Us Podcast, September 23, 2020.

Canva, Michael (2020). “‘Calvin and Hobbes’ said goodbye 25 years ago. Here’s why Bill Watterson’s masterwork enchants us still”, Washington Post, 31st December 2020. 

Champ, Nicky (2018), “Dr. Jason Fox on the one word you need in 2019 – Forget making New Year’s resolutions you won’t keep…”, Business Chicks

Clear James, “5 Common Mistakes That Cause New Habits to Fail”,

Clear, James (2018), “Atomic habits : tiny changes, remarkable results : an easy & proven way to build good habits & break bad ones”, Avery, New York

Clear, James, “3-2-1 Newsletter”, To subscribe to his newsletter, here’s the link.

Eurich, Tasha (2017), “Insight : the power of self-awareness in a self-deluded world”, Crown Business, London

Eurich, Tasha (2018), “What Self-Awareness Really Is (and How to Cultivate It)”, Harvard Business Review, 4th January 2018.  

Fosslien, L & Duffy, MW (2019), “No hard feelings : the secret power of embracing emotions at work”, Portfolio, New York

Fox, Jason (2019), “Heralding your Word; An act of manifesting”, 31st Dec 2019.