As the year draws towards its end, it’s natural to reflect on the year that was. I’m also reminded about where I was this time last year – the 2020 calendar was spread out on the wall in all its glory, new product launches planned, my pipeline was in place, a few holidays scheduled, and a significant birthday was to be celebrated all year around the world. I was excited at the prospect!
These memories only heighten my sense of now after a year that has had a greater toll on me than I think I am acknowledging, let alone recognising. I’m feeling …. it’s hard to describe. There is a multiplicity of emotions. Many come and go (positive and negative ones), and yet there is a constant ‘dragging’, ‘heavy’, ‘numbing’, ‘adrift’, and a ‘tired’ mixture of feelings that form a backdrop to life at present.
Generally, this year has changed the ebb and flow of how I live life and who and how I connect with. I know I mourn this. It would be the same same but different for everyone.
It’s different
I’ve seen shadows of some of these emotions before. I also know I’m even getting weary of answering the question – how am I? – asked by very well meaning friends and colleagues. The answer can even change within a day! Life can be like this, I know, but it’s different.
I am an introvert and yet am missing connection. I am loving spending time in my home office after a few years of flying everywhere all the time. I’m enjoying reading, writing, and researching and yet I miss thinking together with people whether deliberately or in those incidental conversations. Yes, Zoom has helped somewhat. But, I miss catching up with friends. Some friends have disappeared and yet others have journeyed with me through this time – providing some of the unexpected delights of the year. I think I talk with people as much as I did before – but it’s different.
Out on a rare dinner in a restaurant the other night, I got halfway through dinner and wanted to “end the meeting”. You know that red button in the bottom right of your screen? I was exhausted, and yet, it’s not like I’m out burning the candle at both ends with my social life! It’s different.
I’ve lived away from my home country for over 25 years and I am very used to keeping in touch with people remotely. It’s very normal for me. I’ve also been working remotely with clients for years, and given the geography of Asia, this is expected. And yet, I find myself this year barely keeping it together because of the intensity that has come with working from home. It’s different.
The layers ….
A few months back, first thing one Monday morning, I received a message from a past client. It was a work request. There was nothing unusual about this message, I get them from time to time. Curiously, I had a moment when I read this message. An emotional moment.
I stayed with this for a moment for a while as I tried to notice what was going on. I felt I had been doing quite well through this time. Yes, business is down – as expected. I’ve had time to have a much needed semi-sabbatical (my reframe for this time). I’ve spent time developing myself by doing courses I never had time for (and have been loving the learning and researching) as well as spending time building working partnerships with good colleagues and generally creating a longer term horizon for work. Generally I’ve been nicely busy and it’s all good to do.
Bing.
I then got this message from a very close friend.
I’m sitting out back in sunshine,
with my coffee going cold,
coz I’m just crying.
The relief,
the overwhelm,
the joy,
the grief,
the mess,
the blissful silence,
the inner contradictions.
Phew.
My dear friend had just sent her two little ones off to school for the first day after about 100 days in strict lockdown in Melbourne, Australia.
She said it so well and this resonated with me too. Same same but different: the layers of emotions and the dance between them.
I’ve been thinking about all this for a while. Meanwhile, various articles and podcasts have come to my attention in the last few months. I’ve collected them and their insights that they all shed light on our collective difficult experience this year. I ask that you indulge me as I share some highlights with you. Hopefully you will find them insightful and useful to you too as you also reflect on this year.
Various insights from articles and podcasts
Impact of Zoom Fatigue on our Brains
The first article I share is about the much spoken about “Zoom fatigue” (no matter what video calling interface we use). We have talked about this for a long while now, but I found the insight from “Zoom fatigue’ is taxing the brain. Here’s why that happens” (by Julia Sklar, National Geographic, 24 April, 2020) pushed this almost flippant concept to the next level in my mind. Perhaps it is something I need to take note of more seriously.
Virtual interactions can be extremely hard on the brain. “There’s a lot of research that shows we actually really struggle with this,” says Andrew Franklin, an assistant professor of cyberpsychology at Virginia’s Norfolk State University. He thinks people may be surprised at how difficult they’re finding video calls given that the medium seems neatly confined to a small screen and presents few obvious distractions.”
“Humans communicate even when they’re quiet. During an in-person conversation, the brain focuses partly on the words being spoken, but it also derives additional meaning from dozens of non-verbal cues, such as whether someone is facing you or slightly turned away, if they’re fidgeting while you talk, or if they inhale quickly in preparation to interrupt.”
Generally, it takes little effort for us to get a sense of the other person including their expected response from us. But a video call makes this far more difficult and diminishes our natural ability and our visual “frame” – head/shoulders, video quality and no opportunities for peripheral glances – to read what’s happening with the other person and between you.
Multi-person screens magnify this exhausting problem. Gallery view—where all meeting participants appear Brady Bunch-style—challenges the brain’s central vision, forcing it to decode so many people at once that no one comes through meaningfully, not even the speaker.
“We’re engaged in numerous activities, but never fully devoting ourselves to focus on anything in particular,” says Franklin. Psychologists call this continuous partial attention, and it applies as much to virtual environments as it does to real ones. Think of how hard it would be to cook and read at the same time. That’s the kind of multi-tasking your brain is trying, and often failing, to navigate in a group video chat.
While we won’t go into the issues about various video call platforms and preferences for viewing – Brady Bunch style or single speaker at a time – all this makes it very difficult to recognise how non-active participants are behaviouring. For some people, this may be very important and this can add to the drain as we look for non-verbal cues we can’t find.
“Close friends are important – but research shows that building networks of casual acquaintances can boost happiness, knowledge and a sense of belonging.”
So much is written about how our well being depends on the quality of our relationships with close family and friends. However, Mark Granovetter, a sociology professor at John Hopkins University, author of “The Strength of Weak Ties”, showed that quantity matters as well. He talks about “strong ties” and “weak ties” where the weak ties are the acquaintances in our lives with whom we have infrequent and fleeting interactions.
With all our working from home and restrictions of movement (depending where you are), our focus has rightfully been on those closest to us – whether they live with us, near us or we Zoom them. Interactions with our casual acquaintances would have disappeared at some stages, or greatly reduced to very fleeting waves or eyeball glimpses – all done over a mask. No natural smiles, and little, if any, verbal exchanges. There may have even been those look away moments as you spot a “naked nose”! Awkwardness abounded and still does in many ways.
We have to go out to connect with these casual acquaintances. These folk are our baristas, bus drivers, gym buddies, and neighbours. We are missing those weak ties from our work offices too. Apart from being those lighter, less demanding conversations, they make up the social fabric around us. In organisations, weak ties play a vital role and as we work at home, we are missing out on these particular information flows – needed by some of us more than others. Bernstein et al (“The Implications of Working Without an Office”, July 15 2020, Harvard Business Review share the following
By providing novel information and complementary expertise, weak ties have been shown to play an important role in organizational performance, including innovation, raising or maintaining product and service quality, and attaining project milestones. Yet they are difficult to create virtually.
Again, like Zoom fatigue, weak ties leaves a subtle and yet unarticulated scarcity around belonging, connection, new information and ideas. This is something else I think we search for and as a consequence burn more energy than we ever realise.
Work Confidants
Another article that caught my eye was “Hangovers, heartaches, horrible meetings: why we all need ‘work wives’” by Lucy Pavia (Fri 11 Dec 2020, The Guardian, International Edition). On closer examination, it is an article clearly written by a young woman from a different generation to myself – but it still resonated.
“At lunch, we would hit the canteen to pick over the urgent issues of the day: was the email E sent a bit passive-aggressive? What was the big meeting everyone had disappeared into about? We became each other’s therapist, sense-checker, party buddy, emergency tampon dealer and relationship counsellor.”
In essence, it’s about those important side conversations at work –made easy by proximity. They would differ, of course, across different generations, gender and cultures. Never-the-less, we could be missing them.
Depleted Surge Capacity & Grief
Most of us kicked into gear at the beginning of the pandemic. We got working from home happening and took charge of our lives as best we could. We operated on what Ann Masten, PhD, a psychologist and professor of child development at the University of Minnesota, calls “surge capacity”.
“Surge capacity is a collection of adaptive systems — mental and physical — that humans draw on for short-term survival in acutely stressful situations, such as natural disasters. But natural disasters occur over a short period, even if recovery is long. Pandemics are different — the disaster itself stretches out indefinitely.“
“The pandemic has demonstrated both what we can do with surge capacity and the limits of surge capacity,” says Masten. When it’s depleted, it has to be renewed. But what happens when you struggle to renew it because the emergency phase has now become chronic?
So have we really worked out how best to cope with life as it has been in 2020? I’m sure many of us think we are doing a good job and are thankful that we are not as bad off as others.
But,
“Why do you think you should be used to this by now? We’re all beginners at this,” Masten told me. “This is a once in a lifetime experience. It’s expecting a lot to think we’d be managing this really well.”
Perhaps we are not managing this as well as we think, or as well as we should be. Remember where this article started? It was about that feeling, that constant ‘dragging’, ‘heavy’, ‘numbing’, ‘adrift’, and a ‘tired’ mixture of feelings that form a backdrop of our current existence.
I really do not like the phrase “adjusting to the new normal”! Was what we had normal?
And,
How do you adjust to an ever-changing situation where the “new normal” is indefinite uncertainty?
Loss is part of what is happening to us. Let’s not forget those who have lost loved ones during this pandemic, and let us recognise also that we have all lost some things that are less obvious and perhaps ambiguous. For me it’s been a way of life, the ability to hop on a plane at the time of my choosing, the ability to do my work in person, to work in coffee shops, and to see people without masks on so I can really see them. For some, it may be about the loss around not being about to attend the significant rituals of life like weddings, graduations and funerals – or different ones around activities like going dancing with friends, for example.
“These were all things we were attached to and fond of, and they’re gone right now, so the loss is ambiguous. It’s not a death, but it’s a major, major loss,” says Boss. “What we used to have has been taken away from us.”
Pauline Boss, PhD, a family therapist and professor emeritus of social sciences at the University of Minnesota who specializes in “ambiguous loss”, says
Ambiguous loss elicits the same experiences of grief as a more tangible loss — denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance — but managing it often requires a bit of creativity.
Tara Haelle goes on to cover a great list of coping strategies – and it’s worth reading her original article. In summary, it includes accept that life is different right now (not fighting it even if it’s tough), expecting less from yourself, recognising the different aspects of grief and experiment with a non-binary view on life and issues by embracing “both-and” thinking. In addition, she suggests you look for activities, new and old, that continue to fulfill you, and begin slowly to build your resilience by starting with the basics – “sleep, nutrition, exercise, meditation, self-compassion, gratitude, connection and saying no”.
Rediscovering Fun!
Brené Brown shared in one of her recent podcasts (“On My Mind”, September 23, 2020) about rediscovering the concept of fun. She had written about it in one of her early books, “The Gifts of Imperfection”
I came across this quote by Stuart Brown. “The opposite of play is not work. The opposite of play is depression.”
Stuart Brown, MD, is a play researcher.
[Stuart] Brown explains how respecting our biologically programmed need for play can transform us and renew our sense of excitement in life.
Given the pandemic, working from home, energy depletion, and travel restrictions, it may be fair to say that our opportunity around ‘having fun’ has been impacted, if not reduced significantly.
Brené Brown shares her insight after being reminded of fun:
… given that we’re out of adrenaline and our surge capacity is depleted, I thought about turning to play as a new source of energy. I asked myself these questions again, like these three things: time spent without purpose, things I’m doing where I lose track of time, things that make me feel liberated and uninhibited. And just, wow!
And this is important.
[T]he energy you get from play is not like sugary as adrenaline, where it like it’s hard core and it spikes; it’s constant and predictable, it’s like less of a donut sugar spike and more like a green smoothie feeling, which I think is good.
The bottom line. Be kind to yourself and others!
While we have managed to get through this year, it is time to ensure we exercise healthy self care and compassion. For many reasons, there has been a toll on us, one I think we are underestimating. I’ve curated a few articles that shed different light on sources of potential depletion in our lives and what might be contributing to that subtle weary and awful feeling that lurks.
Remember,
“Empathy is not connecting to an experience, it’s connecting to the emotion that underpins an experience” Brené Brown, Dare to Lead, pp140
Let’s do this for ourselves, and for each other!
And after we connect with our emotions, and those of others, let’s act on it. Let’s move to compassion. For self, this would be around being deliberate about some self-care strategies. Remember, “oxygen to self before oxygen to others”. Then when we have some “oxygen”, let’s be there for each other. No judgement. No comparison. Being there.
We are all in the same storm (and even different parts of the storm), but our boats are different. No judgement. No comparison.
Here’s to 2021! Onward, and upwards. Together we can find ways to thrive, connect and make the world a better place for others in our lives!
How shared ownership will help us co-create a hybrid model of remote working
We basically did quite well when we all had to work from home during the pandemic. We have learnt a lot, struggled with some things, still rumbling about other things and now the road ahead – depending on your industry and organisation – looks like it will hold a hybrid model of remote working.
{Blog} The rabbit is out of the hat; remote working works… now what?
However, if we are not careful, we could end up with the worst of the virtual and office-based environments – missing out on embracing the best of being human, together with the best of the technologies as we aspire to create a work environment in which we can flourish!
So, as we think about what is important, as leaders/bosses, at this particular stage as hybrid working arrangements are being considered, we run the risk of taking control as we try and “lead” the way. If this is executed in a certain way, it will be akin to removing autonomy previously given. Risks abound!
{Blog} Working from home and beyond: the critical pivot point for bosses
Take ownership together – how to create a hybrid model of remote working
Remember,
Leadership is not a rank, it is a responsibility. Leadership is not about being in charge, it is about taking care of those in your charge. And when we take care of our people, our people will take care of us.
~Simon Sinek
Teams are the building blocks of organisations and where stuff gets done. So let’s put ownership into the hands of the team (as a whole), and let them co-create how they want to get work done as well as how they work together. Bosses who do this will find tremendous benefits on so many levels.
Here is a practical framework for a team to use as they design their modus operandi intentionally and thoughtfully – together. This will work for teams at any level in the organisation. Qualified team coaches (as opposed to facilitators or individual executive coaches) can help a team through a process.
A practical, six step framework for co-creating a hybrid model of remote working
Why does your team exist and what hole would be left if it didn’t?
Does the team have clarity and a solid shared understanding of its purpose?
What discussions need to happen to ensure this occurs?
2. External processes (involving stakeholders)
Who are your customers (either external to your organisation or internal within your organisation)?
Who else is impacted or has an interest (for any reason) in your team’s activities?
What are your stakeholder’s expectations? What feedback do you receive (or can collect)?
3. Internal processes
How does the team manage its workflow, support each other and maintain good communication?
How does the team ensure role clarity and decision-making quality?
4. Relationships
How does the team want to work together, and how does it not want to?
What do we need to do together when working in a hybrid model?
5. Learning
How does the team respond to its changing environment and ensure continuous improvement and growth?
How does the team’s learning needs link to everyone’s individual development plans?
6. The collective leadership of the team (as opposed to individual leadership)
How does the team help their leader become the leader they need, while also distributing aspects of leadership amongst themselves so everything isn’t dependent on the team leader?
When having these conversations, encourage everyone to empathise (with stakeholders and other team members), ask – “what’s important?”, explore a range of options, and prototype some solutions that you can test including getting some feedback.
Conversations around all the above will need to be regularly revisited and updated as the team adapts. The environment is incredibly dynamic and it’s important that teams adapt together.
Wrapping up this blog series
The rabbit is out of the bag and employees have operated with autonomy as they have managed working at home. Bosses, keep the power in your team’s hands by engaging them as they participate in how their future working environment is managed. As bosses (and managers), you have the opportunity and responsibility to provide a different sort of leadership, one that provides space and invitation for involvement by your teams – even if it means finding ways to lift your own leadership practice. As hybrid working environments emerge alongside the changing needs of customers, it is important that all are on board to help navigate complexities around this change.
How will you respond going forward?
If you’re feeling stuck in where to go from here, but you recognise you need to create some lasting change within your teams, let’s talk. Check my availability here.
Remote working has primarily worked. The ride was a bit bumpy in the beginning, but we have adjusted well, and the big fears around what it would mean to work outside the office, were not fundamentally realised. This was after decades of failed remote working experiments (as applied more broadly across organisations and industry sectors). Sure, there have been some success stories, but nothing like what has just happened!
What made it different this time?
“This time, everyone in the organisation had to do it, and they collectively strived to figure out how to overcome the challenges.” (Bernstein E. (2020), “The Implications of Working Without an Office”, HBR, July 15).
In my first blog in this series, we spoke about how the rabbit is out of the bag – everyone is working at home – and any attempt to put it back in the bag by removing much autonomy will be fought with great risk! And in the second blog, given this is a pivotal point for bosses (and managers) it is an opportunity to stop and reflect on the way our teams are being managed and consider what’s important as well as identify possible action items.
In my third blog, we shone some light on widely written about “wisdom” around leading and managing people from past decades that could apply in our current situation. We then broke things down into 9 simple skills that enable leaders to execute this wisdom.
So, what’s next for remote working?
While conditions differ across the world around the impact of COVID (and it changes all the time), organisations are discussing at great lengths how to bring employees back into the office – if at all – and if so, what might the office “look like”. While we will be experimenting with this for quite some time, the bigger issue, I believe, is around the leadership needed at this time. Bosses (at any level in an organisation) are having to lead their teams in this changing environment. On the surface, it may seem simple compared to the immediacy of working at home, but when you scratch the surface, complexity and traps lie everywhere!
Fairly consistently, surveys are showing that employees are happy to come back into the office for a few days a week – give or take – though, digging deeper it appears there are differences in groups (more on that later). It is also clear that employees do not want to come back into a sterile office where masks are worn and people are separated or sectioned off from each other.
The Best and Worst of Both Worlds
In many ways, it is exciting to think we can co-create and refresh working life; it romances us. How will we find the mix and hybrid opportunities to embrace the best of being human, together with the best of the technologies, as we aspire to work smarter, more flexibly while allowing the people we work with to flourish?
Sounds good, doesn’t it?
However, if we are not careful, we could end up with the worst of the virtual and office-based environments!
Let’s dig deeper…
What’s worked?
Enjoying not having to do long commutes to the office
More focus time (after the initial Zoom overload)
Flexibility with family (and yes, men have gained some insight here)
Not flying across countries and around the world for meetings!
What’s not worked?
Workdays are 10-20% longer
High expectations around output given we are more online
Some restrictions around job mobility and progression within organisations
Many are missing face-to-face connection
What are we learning?
Finding the right balance between meetings and work time
Finding ways to improve communication (and taking our Zoom skills to the next level!)
Still trying to learn to not work when at home
Discovering what patterns of work/routine make us more productive while managing our time and energy
Leaders/bosses are having to communicate more effectively and deliberately
Where are there notable differences between groups?
Personality traits (and it’s not around extraversion and introversion (ask me about this if you’re keen to know more!)
Household circumstances (and the stories here abound, are broad and wide ranging and here is where we need to exercise much empathy)
What are we really losing by not being in the office?
It’s harder to on-board new hires, and easier to lose good workers as mobility increases
There is a decline of spontaneous communication and interactions (in hallways and around coffee pots/machines)
Weak ties – defined as “shallow or peripheral relationships among members of an organisation who don’t work closely with each other but have nonetheless connected over time”. These, surprisingly, have been shown to impact organisational performance (in many ways) and, yet, are very difficult to create virtually (Bernstein, E. 2020).
Fostering relationships across the organisation that normally happen in a myriad of in-person ways including in serendipitous ways!
The “magic”, which many CEOs are discussing, around being together in the workplace. Articulating this is proving difficult but the conversation is on-going.
What are we grappling with?
How to manage for equity on many fronts – some in the office and others not, compensation (when remote working from cheaper locations), home situations (which impacts certain groups of employees) to name a few tricky equity issues
How to ensure diversity and true inclusion given all these changing dimensions to the “work place”, and
Ensuring that women don’t continue to go backwards as they have during the pandemic
The potential mental health impact from the pandemic and how our organisations and leaders will need to respond
Who makes the biggest difference?
Your immediate boss!
Keeping focused on your customer
BCG, in their recent article, “Work Will Never Be the Same—Savvy Business Leaders Are Adapting to Change That’s Already Here” (by Khandelwal, B. et al) write…
“The transformation of work is accelerating toward more flexibility and customised models. This shift is here to stay. If companies don’t rapidly reinvent how they serve customers and support their employees, they will lose in the new reality”
It’s essential that organisations (and teams) look at all the activities in their value chain “through the lenses of changed consumer expectations”. Another lens BCG proposes involves determining the nature of a team’s work along two dimensions: type of work (ranging from routinized to creative), and level of collaboration (ranging from independent to collaborative).
In addition, team norms and individual preferences muddy the waters, as team bosses find ways to lead their people through what will prove to be far from simple models of hybrid working.
What’s important for your organisation and team to consider here?
In this blog we have reflected on our experience in this extraordinary experiment that the pandemic kickstarted. While this reflection has occurred at a high level, it will be nuanced for each individual team (or work group).
What has been your experience? And what has been the experience of your team (or work group)? At this point in time, what issues are emerging as important for you – as a boss or an individual? It is worth taking some time to consider this (knowing you will need to revisit this thinking as things keep moving and changing).
So, what is the best way for team bosses and teams to navigate this brave new world? This is the subject of my next blog.
And, if you need any extra support in these areas (and it’s ok to need it!) you can book a free 15-minute power chat with me to gain some clarity. See my availability.
In my previous two blogs, about how the rabbit is out of the bag – everyone is working at home, and any attempt to put it back in the bag by removing much autonomy will be fought with great risk! And secondly, given this is a pivotal point for bosses (and managers) it is an opportunity to stop and reflect on the way you are managing remote teams and consider what’s important, as well as identify possible action items.
Let me now shine some light on widely written about “wisdom” around leading and managing people from past decades. You will most probably recognise the concepts, and agree with the authors. But as you read the following points, do reflect on what’s happening with yourself as you work with your boss, and then do the same as you think about the people you lead or manage, especially if managing remote teams. Remember, everyone is different and the experience your direct reportees may have with you may differ to what you are intending it to be. Some of this “wisdom” may be a good starting point for conversations around how you best work together.
Here is my list of “wisdom” to consider for managing remote teams:
Dan Pink speaks of how autonomy – the desire to be self directed – is one of the three factors that leads to better performance and personal satisfaction (assuming enough money is on the table so this is not a problem). He shares how this flies in the face of traditional management which is more about compliance.
According to Gallup’s research, we all like to have the opportunity to do what we do best every day. Even if we cannot do it everyday, to know we can do it in our job and that our boss knows it’s important to us makes a big difference. (“First, break all the rules” by Buckingham & Coffman)
We all like to grow and develop. Dan Pink talks about “Mastery”, and Gallup research also highlights the importance of our development: to be encouraged, given opportunities to learn and grow, and conversations about our development with bosses.
Positive attention to strengths (as opposed to “feedback”) is 1200 times more powerful around impacting their engagement than ignoring people and 30 times more powerful than negative attention to weaknesses. People don’t need judgemental feedback. “They need attention, and moreover, attention to what they do the best. And they become more engaged and therefore more productive when we give it to them.” (“Nine Lies About Work” by Buckingham & Goodall)
A clear sense of progress is important so getting feedback on one’s progress is important, which is basically recognition for good work. Computer games understand this very well. Dr Jason Fox shares his research in this video.
“To become trustworthy, you have to experience trust” Marvin Weisbord (Dr. Mee-Yan Cheung Judge’s “Just in Case…” mini-series, twelfth video). Bosses can help with this.
In leadership programmes, and within organisations, we cover a lot of these points, and they are becoming more of our “corporate speak”. To ensure we are really embracing the heart and the art of this wisdom, let’s dig down a little deeper and identify some simple basics that may help shape your “now what?”
Breaking Things Down Further into the Simple
Here is a list of some other things that may prove helpful. Think of these as the micro-skills that will support the capabilities needed to enable you to execute on some of the above mentioned “wisdom”:
Sharing – “when I know it, you will know it” if not, your people will make up stories.
Provide meaning and context within which everyone works – and leave the locus of control – for choosing, deciding, prioritising, goal setting – to them. Find ways to journey with them rather than checking in or checking up on them.
Discuss the way you and your people want to work together. What works best for them, what do they need from you? And vice versa. Give and take.
And believe everyone wants to do good work. Assume they get up and “arrive” for work to do their best, full stop.
Care for them. Be curious and ask them about what being cared for looks and feels like for them. It may be different to you. There is no right or wrong here.
There is no getting out of this one. Embrace the discomfort and learn to be aware of your tendencies to take control while choosing to embrace much of the wisdom above. There is a huge upside for you.
And lastly, try reframing your role as a leader/manager. Perhaps it’s about “hosting” them as a group (“The Art of Gathering” by Priya Parker (2018)), “to help them find the real challenge”, or to be a servant for them.
As you work on your “now what?”, let’s reflect on some questions:
What “wisdom” has resonated with you? What “wisdom” do you know to be true for yourself?
Which of the micro-skills immediately above do you feel you may need to strengthen or improve?
If you had to select one to work on, which one would it be? What will you specifically practice and in what sorts of situations? Do take time to write your response down.
In my next blog, we will take a closer look at what has happened while working at home. The road ahead is far from simple and it will demand a new way of leading. In the fifth and final blog of this series, we will look at an approach you may consider using with your team as you co-create how you want to work together in a hybrid workplace world.
And, if you need any extra support in these areas (and it’s ok to need it!) you can book a free 15-minute power chat with me to gain some clarity. See my availability.
In our previous blog, we spoke about how the rabbit is out of the bag – everyone is working at home – and any attempt to put it back in the bag by removing much autonomy will be fought with great risk!
When asked about the essential leadership qualities for COVID times, Katarina Berg, CHRO of Spotify shared the following at a recent People Matter’s TechHRSG conference (Sept ‘20)…
“To be honest, it’s the same things as per normal times, but all this was put under more pressure and we need to accentuate.”
She went on to suggest the following – always be empathetic (if not more), acknowledge a few things like not knowing all the answers or never having been in this situation before, be very present but in a new format (i.e. over a screen), and do regular check ins in new and different ways.
Her point around accentuating various aspects of one’s leadership is wisdom. However, if one’s leadership practice has weaknesses in it, or one has practices which gloss over important aspects of leading, cracks will appear. For example, if you have relied on sensing how your people are by looking around as you walk to your office in the mornings, you may struggle when in a remote situation. Tendencies to check in more often may result in employees feeling micromanaged and watched. Where, the intention to really care for and ensure your employees’ well-being may need new and refined leadership-related skills.
At the centre of all of this is the tension that presents itself when faced with uncertainty and ambiguity (and change that is unpredictable) – and potentially pressure from above in the organisation – we move towards wanting to take more control in order to minimise risk. We cannot help ourselves. It pulls us in the opposite direction to where our leadership skills need to take us.
Change has been happening in some organisations
Now, into the third webinar, “Rethinking Work”, in the “Reshaping Australia Dialogues” series hosted by the Australian Financial Review, Athalie Williams, the President Human Resources, BHP shared that they were starting to think about office space as a resource and as such would ask the question “how should we best use this resource?”.
She also went on to say that they encourage their people to “work where you get great outcomes” and then give the team the choice to figure this out.
The CEO of Telstra, Andrew Penn, shared that Telstra rolled out “All Roles Flex” in March 2014 and indicated “it’s the manager’s responsibility if an employee wanted to work flexibly”.
Of course, BHP and Telstra are fairly large companies and it has to be said that there would be a strong influence from the Australian workforce dynamics where, for example, there is one of the largest percentage of part-time workers in the world. So flexibility had been considered for a long while, though not all companies get it right.
This all said, these organisations would not be alone in their considerations and their expectations that their managers have more control than many feel they may have.
A Possible Response for a Manager
If you are a manager who would like to stop and review how you might be going at this time, here is a process you can go through.
1. What?
Take time to describe what is happening around you and within you. Describe your behaviour and that of others (your team, your boss(es) and organisational stakeholders).
Describe interactions between you and others, and describe interactions between others.
Describe the style and language of emails, video calls and conference calls (e.g. videos on or not, etc.).
Describe the content – what’s in and what is not.
Describe how you feel and which emotions are present in which situations.
What are you enjoying and what are you missing?
What is getting done and what isn’t?
What takes most of your attention?
What stories run around in your head?
What are your hopes and fears?
Describe what is happening, what is not happening and describe, separately, what you would want it to be. Look for patterns. Think hypotheses. Be curious and just describe while resisting the temptation to conclude, make assumptions or any analysis. That will come later.
2. So What?
What’s really important here, and how do the patterns you are seeing impact the importance? Take time to consider this. Don’t rush it.
Remember,
Leadership is not a rank, it is a responsibility. Leadership is not about being in charge, it is about taking care of those in your charge. And when we take care of our people, our people will take care of us.
~Simon Sinek
3. Now What?
So, after you have considered what is important as well as the emerging patterns from what you have observed around you and within, some questions worth considering would be:
How might I move the dial on what’s important?
How can I keep giving my people “choice” while also delivering results?
How can I identify the behaviours of mine that potentially give my people the sense of distrust and micromanagement?
What aspects of my leadership have I relied on in the past and are now not helping me?
Which micro-skills could help me, as a manager, at this time of uncertainty?
Personal reflection is important and identifying something that you can tangibly work on would be helpful to you. In addition, shining the light of researched wisdom may help shape your thoughts further and this will be the subject of my next blog.
If you’d like to discuss how we can embed this into your organsation, please contact me here.
By and large, we have coped well with remote working through the COVID-19 period, if not better than expected given how many years (or decades) we have been flirting with the idea of it. We know what it’s like to be “Zoomed out” and we all have different stories around what has worked, what has not and what we have enjoyed, struggled with and missed. Technology preferences and user behaviours have emerged, and yes, the internet is awash with articles, comments, polls, how-tos, and blogs around all this.
However, it isn’t all about the technology that has enabled remote working, but it’s about how we as individuals have found our own ways to work and live within whatever conditions we have found ourselves in at home. And yes, I’ve heard stories about how cars have become offices too, or places of quiet for those critical phone calls away from the kids that have to be homeschooled, and the partner who is also on back-to-back Zooms..
Rightfully so, leaders in organisations are now having to consider “How can we safely bring employees back to the workplace?” Various commentators are debating whether remote working has changed the workplace forever. And some leaders/CEOs are wondering whether their view of the physical workplace should be reframed. They’re asking questions like “If our physical workplace is a resource, how should we best use it?”
Movement towards the “new normal” (a terrible phrase in my opinion) will happen at some stage whether sooner or later. However, I think we can safely say that heading into a new phase won’t be the same sudden change that had us all working from home. It will be a slower transition.
Meanwhile, cracks are starting to appear in the way managers/leaders are coping. While we need to be careful not to generalise across the board – because everyone is different – we are reading headlines like:
“Some managers may be finding their roles more difficult than before — and making their subordinates’ lives more stressful as they struggle to adapt.”
This suggests that middle managers don’t feel confident and don’t have the skills for managing remote working teams.
“We believe they start to think that close monitoring and micromanaging is what the organisations expects of them” – basically because this is how their managers are treating them.
“The Covid-19 crisis has middle managers squeezed. You’ve had to take a pay-cut, lay off employees, and deliver bad news up and down the org chart. You’ve been working from home for weeks and feeling stressed because there’s no light at the end of the tunnel. What can you do to stay focused and upbeat during this uncertain time? How can you learn to reframe the situation you’re facing? Who can you vent to? And, what can you do to recharge when most of your usual outlets aren’t available?”
And.. in a very recent Linkedin post by Tasha Eurich, author of “Insight: The Surprising Truth about How Others See Us, How We See Ourselves, and Why the Answers Matter More Than We Think”, she shared:
“New Data: Just In! 45 percent of employees say they’ve experienced MORE workplace conflict since the pandemic began.” (dated 17th September 2020).
So what do leaders do now?
During the pandemic everyone had to manage things while at home. By and large, everyone has coped well with this new-found autonomy from the office!
Now there is a threat that this “freedom” may be taken away. Generally, people – and that includes employees – don’t like having their ability, autonomy and freedom to choose taken away from them. While it is clear that many miss the workplace and being around their colleagues, it will be clear that when we are all back at the office, other choices will be taken away.
So, the rabbit is out of the hat and any attempt to put it back in by removing too much autonomy will be fought with great risk! And while organisations – that is the “management” – will make some considerations at this point in time, managers – by which I mean one’s direct boss – hold much responsibility about employee engagement in their hands.
Remember…
…people join good companies but leave bosses
(and much research over many years keep confirming this fact).
If you’re a leader you’re probably thinking “No more burden on me, please!”
It may feel like more pressure, but now is the time to consider the way you lead others. This is a major chance in many ways, because while there are significant business imperatives, if done with a good heart, people may be a bit more forgiving as you try and find better ways to work with your people.
When I set up EDIT development nearly six years ago I was unsure what we would become and more importantly how we would become it. The one thing I knew from my years in corporate life was that success comes from collaboration and building great relationships, and therefore that is what I hung my hat on. I am delighted to say that six years later we have many successful partnerships and collaborations which have resulted in us working in industries and with clients that I had only hoped we would be able to work with. We know from the extensive research we have done around high performance leadership with our client portfolio that collaboration is one of the most underdeveloped behaviours of global leaders in the workplace right now, closely followed by a lack of conceptual flexibility. Conceptual flexibility is really all about being thinking agile, flexible with your approach and having openness to doing things in new ways.
For me these two behaviours have been the foundation of building our business. Looking for partners and great people to collaborate with, whilst building diverse relationships leveraging different ideas to create solutions and programmes for clients that are fresh and challenging. When I met Dr Robyn Wilson in Singapore two years ago I knew we would work together, again I just didn’t know how or when. I am so happy that Robyn’s business
Praxis Management Consulting and EDIT Development are now partnering to be able to offer truly global solutions for our existing clients now having a broad, diverse team in Asia, Europe and Americas.
Collaboration for me is all about learning, developing, being better for the relationship and looking for ways to be leaders in the market through sharing not competing. From 1st July EDIT Development is stronger for having an official partner based in Singapore who bring diversity of thought, understanding of cultural difference whilst being grounded on the same values and ethical foundation that we pride ourselves on. A business focused on doing things in new ways, using blended learning solutions whilst keeping at its heart that relationship is what keeps our heart pumping. The relationships with our clients, partners and the extended global team we have working under our brand.
Robyn says:
The way we establish, build and keep our relationships with clients, partners and our network is extremely important to us here in Asia. Being respectful, authentic, open, truthful and grounded is important to us. Our clients face very real challenges and we like to work alongside them, co-creating solutions. This is how we do business at Praxis Management Consulting.
Finding good partners can be hard. Yet, on the other hand, when you meet kindred spirits, its easy. When I first met Sonia from EDIT Development in Singapore a few years back, she was ‘in’, though I had no idea how our connection would play out in the scheme of things. Strangely, I was meeting someone else at the time, but she happened to be there. It is always important to remain open to those we meet, as you never know when these gems come along.
We can speak of being collaborative so easily, but I’m reminded it takes connection, trust, openness, decisions to be deliberate, shared objectives, a sense of timing and shared guiding principles.
As we at Praxis work with Leaders in Asia, we understand that many of these leaders come to Asia from other parts of the world often representing their MNCs and organisations. These leaders come and work with the many great leaders born and bred in Asia. And increasingly, we are seeing many Asian leaders going abroad as their Asian businesses grow globally. We need good partnerships to support our clients, and to bring the best of the ‘east’ and the ‘west’. Leveraging regional relationships, knowledge and experience and bringing the best together as we support leaders who operate in mixed cultural and geographies will be key. Exploiting the power of real inclusion and true diversity is a tremendous opportunity in this complex world.
Thinking differently about how we partner to deliver support to clients globally is important, just as it is important to constantly explore new, fresh and better ways in which to do it. I know that Sonia and her team at EDIT Development will hold me to this, as I will to them. This will make for a great partnership, and one I really look forward to! I’m thrilled EDIT and Praxis are partnering!
If we are truthful to ourselves, that elusive perfect meeting is most probably a figment of our imagination. It’s either – literally – a distant memory of a team experience that made us feel empowered, or we imagine what meetings might be like in those cool companies we have heard much about.
Even if we are in charge with all the responsibility in our hands, the frustrations can still abound. If only everyone would talk, and talk about the issues at hand and not just present their needs when asked, or to defend their actions. These meetings tend to end up being very formal.
What we often do not realise is that that perfect meeting may be closer to reality that we imagine! We all sense what these meetings could feel like but often its elusive or we have the inability to get the meeting into “that place”. It frustrates us. And poor meetings abound. We can all make suggestions for improvement. If only the chairperson would …. or others at the meeting would … (do something different to what they are doing).
There are so many expectations around meetings including what they are for, how everyone should behave and what a successful meeting should feel like. The trouble is that that perfect meeting looks different in everyone’s mind!
So, how can we make our meetings work better?
Much has been written about this topic (and references are included below), and yet poor meetings abound! [1] [2] However, there are three aspects that could make a tremendous difference to the outcome of the meetings we participate in:
Focusing on others, rather than our own need,
Not being afraid to have the conversations that matter, and
Understanding what stops us from doing the above.
By reframing our mindset, it will affect what we are prepared to do (or not), how we may choose to view others and their views, and how we respond to them.
Choosing to Focus on Others
There can be multiple purposes happening in a meeting. The collective purpose is one thing, but we also hold our own purposes (whether we acknowledge it or not), while others hold theirs. We all hold responsibilities and perspectives, and to be successful, we need to engage others in order to make things happen.
When we meet resistance, we tend to work harder at making our argument more compelling. When we are called to meetings where we are not engaged by others, we get bored and wonder why we are present.
Tremendous benefits can be discovered for everyone (including ourselves) if we turn our focus away from ourselves and focus on others. Covey concurs.
Seek first to understand, then to be understood (Covey’s Habit 5)
We can choose to work to understand others at all meetings by asking ourselves the following questions:
What matters to each person at the meeting? How are they motivated? What is their style of thinking? What values do they hold? What are their needs? [3]
What are they really saying (including what they are not saying)?
What are their perspectives and views?
How can we best connect with them?
How can we best help them be successful?
If they are upset or being “difficult”, what might be causing this rather (than judging the behavior)?
If we do this, we just may find that everyone becomes more engaged in the conversations that occur at our meetings. We may also find that we will understand, more clearly, what matters to everyone and how to best influence them. And, we may even find that everyone listens to us and helps us with what we need to achieve.
Choosing to have Conversations about what Matters [4]
In some ways, everyone is surprised that many conversations at meetings seem to “beat around the bush”, so to speak. Often, the elephant stands in the corner of the room. And yet, there is a reluctance to name the elephant. This adds to our frustrations about meetings.
The added challenge of these conversations comes when more people are involved. We have different personalities, think differently and hold different responsibilities. So, we need some guidelines to help keep these conversations useful and rich. Resorting to many meeting formalities tends to kill the energy and engagement around these conversations.
Here are a few guidelines that may help:
Let’s use more adjectives to describe why we are all talking together. [5] If we are meeting to make specific decisions, describe the meeting as such. If we are meeting to explore new concepts around a new project, say so.
Let’s speak plainly and clearly. [6] The use of corporate jargon abounds. Are we on the same page? What does that really mean? And how do you really know if we have achieved it? The chances are that everyone has a different understanding of what that same page looks like. There are many other examples of corporate jargon, but the point is clear.
Let’s be respectful and inclusive, listen deeply, ask questions, and seek clarity for the benefit of everyone. Often issues left unattended with the hope someone will address them. Some questions that might help could include:
What is the purpose of this meeting? [7]
What really are the issues at hand?
Have we got the right people at this meeting?
What is the right thing to do?
How might we ….?
Are we solving the right problem?
Who are the stakeholders that are impacted by ….?
The power of robust conversations is when everyone contributes to the thinking that needs to be done while helping each other with that thinking. Complex problems get solved this way, amongst other things.
What Stops Us?
How often do we go to meetings with our own agenda? We need our proposals accepted, or our products bought. We want to look like we are doing our job well while being responsible. Our values also regulate our behaviour, as does our insecurities. Unfortunately, we tend to opt to protect ourselves (often unconsciously). For example, if we have a need to be seen as competent, we may defend our position rigorously (while not listening to other’s view), or we may not ask questions that may risk us looking silly (incompetent), so we remain silent. Another example is – if we feel we need to maintain control, we may steer the conversation in a certain direction and limit the contribution of others.
At meetings, we do need to discuss the real issues at hand, and engage everyone in the process. It does behove us to be self-aware about what is regulating our behavior and how our behavior is impacting others.
Our lack of specific skills may also stop us achieving useful meetings. These may include the abilities to listen deeply and facilitate an inclusive conversation.
Imagine – That perfect meeting!
Imagine, a meeting where we are clear about its purpose and form. Meetings where the right people are present and everyone is listened to. Meetings where diversity is embraced and adds tremendous value and perspectives to the quality of conversation. Meetings where great collaborations occurs, everyone is speaking clearly and plainly, and decisions are made when its appropriate. Meetings where relationships are strengthened and everyone grows in understanding about themselves and everyone else present. Meetings where everyone is making a difference!
So, let’s do our part! With more people involved, it may not all happen at once, and everyone can add value by taking turns.
How can we make a difference at our meetings? The secret may well be found in deciding to dare to focus on what matters to others around the table while having the conversations that really need to be talked about!
I recently read that CEO-designate Lim Ming Yan of CapitaLand sent over 100 emails from internet cafes while trekking in Nepal at the end of 2012. He was due to commence as CEO 1st January 2013. As public reports indicate, these emails contributed to the company’s transformation journey.
This did not surprise me at all.
When I first trekked in Nepal, I came back to Singapore with incredible clarity of mind, thought, and with renewed centeredness and inner strength. For me, there is something about doing something physical that stretches me (like climb up to a base camp) while letting the gentleness of the people and the beauty of those surreal mountains embrace me.
So, I can completely understand how one CEO-to-be would gain such clarity and intention while trekking in stunning Nepal.
However, it was also the focus of this thinking that struck me.
Procter & Gamble’s CEO addresses what he believes is the work of the CEO in a Harvard Business Review article (May 2009). Drawing from Drucker’s observations, he posits that only the CEO can (and should) do the following (1):
Define and interpret the meaningful outside
Answer, time and again, the two-part question, What business are we in and what business are we not in?
Balance sufficient yield in the present with necessary investment in the future
Shape the values and standards of the organisation.
When considering one’s organisation’s proposed growth and/or transformation journey, a CEO would definitely need to consider and gain clarity around all these issues. A CEO-designate would deliberately need to shift their thinking into this space as they transit into their new role. An entrepreneur would definitely need to consider similar issues to the CEO while also endeavouring to build an startup team and not be enticed to do everything themselves.
As I mused all of this, my mind immediately jumped in a few directions. Firstly, there is the dilemma around finding those moments of clarity, and secondly, finding the deep energy and alignment within to fuel and guide our thinking.
Side Benefits Of A Wandering Mind
Those moments of clarity in life, particularly the one’s that have great insight, can be so elusive, especially at times we feel we really need them. Ironically, it seems that the more we work to find these moments, the hard they seem to find!
However,
It happened to Archimedes in the bath. To Descartes it took place in bed while watching flies on his ceiling. And to Newton it occurred in an orchard, when he saw an apple fall. Each had a moment of insight. To Archimedes came a way to calculate density and volume; to Descartes, the idea of coordinate geometry; and to Newton, the law of universal gravity. (2)
So, it was a brilliant move for a CEO-designate to go trekking in Nepal in my mind.
There is something about a wandering mind, as Hotz indicates in his Science Journal article. The challenge for us is allowing ourselves the luxury of the time and space to allow our minds to wander in this fast moving and highly challenging world we live and work in. Ironically, this luxury may actually be essential.
Framing the Big Buckets for Our Wandering Minds
In their article about managing one’s energy, Schwartz and McCarty warn us about the ever demanding drive for higher performance in our organizations, and how we comply by often putting in longer hours. They suggest that this is, in fact, counter constructive as time is a limited resource. Personal energy is renewable and we can replenishing it in various simple ways by focusing on physical, mental, and emotional energy. They also mention spiritual energy that taps our human spirit, where meaning purpose align (3).
When our personal purpose and core values are given opportunity to reside happily and seamlessly with our organizational position or startup aspirations, we give our wandering minds the big bucket (or context) in which to wander, by implication.
It takes hard personal work in order to gain insight to where we get our deep energy and focus? We have to be deliberate about this, and continue to nurture ourselves to ensure we are fit to be at our ready best for those times that challenge our ability to endure or be resilient.
In Summary
In many ways, all this presents a dilemma. As CEOs and entrepreneurs, it is demanded of us to pay attention to balancing the external with the internal of their organisation/startup. Ambiguity and complexity abound. However, we all have natural tendencies which often results in us working harder and longer, being consumed with much when faced with the many unrelenting challenges of today. The job is often never done.
We need those moments of clarity and inspiration, and wisdom tells us we potentially find it in the counter-initutive times. It behoves us as CEOs and entrepreneurs to ensure we create “spaces” that enable us to think at our best, replenish our personal energy and set ourselves up for those moments of clarity and insight.
There are two dimensions in which we need to be deliberate:
– understanding what the mind-wandering “spaces” look like for us. If that means booking an annual trip to somewhere like Nepal to trek, make it happen!
– understanding ourselves so well that we can tap our deep energy including when we find ourselves in these “space”!
Success, whatever it means to you, may depend on this!
References
1. Lafley, A.G. (2009) “What Only the CEO Can Do”, Harvard Business Review, May
2. Hotz, R.L (2009), “A Wandering Mind Heads Straight Towards Insight), Science Journal, June 19th
3. Schwartz, T and McCarthy, C (2007) “Manage Your Energy Not Your Time”, Harvard Business Review, October
